Make Art, Not War

How Do I Love When I Don't Feel Like it?
by Cory MacNeil

Most of us have believe that love feels great.  You know, the way you feel when you read the words in a Hallmark card.  The  cards show us  pictures of cupids shooting arrows into people's hearts.  The victims live happily ever after.  But lets face it, love doesn't always feel good!  In fact, sometimes it feels a lot like an arrow in the heart.  Country artists make a fortune singing about relational scars.  The tabloids at the check out feature people who failed to love well. The truth is, some of you are at wits end right now in some of your relationships.  The problem is, loving is easy, until there are actual people involved!  So, what is the solution?

Maybe you've tried to feel good about someone and it just didn't work.  Try as you might, the ugly feelings just wouldn't go away.  In fact, you felt worse, because guilt kicked in.  We're so good at criticizing ourselves.  We say things to ourselves like: "I'm just not a good Christian".  Or, "I'm a terrible pastor, or spouse, or daughter".  You get the idea.  

The problem with guilt is....it leaves you feeling guilty.  Right when we're supposed to be loving others, our sight turns inward.  Sometimes we feel helpless.  The last thing you want to do while feeling helpless, is love someone with all your might.  Guilt also tells us to overcompensate.  It makes sense to take the kids to Disney to make up for all the missed ball games and daddy dates throughout the year.

Jesus never meant love to be so complicated.  Few places in scripture  tell us how Jesus felt around difficult people.  What we do have are records of how he acted and behaved.  We too, are leaving a record for the public as well as our loved ones.  The question is, what kind of videos are we leaving?  Are we known  as someone who loves well?

Instead of examining our own feelings, what if  we took our eyes off of ourselves.  Why not focus on the needs of others?  After all, our feelings deceive us, right?  We've all  had those days when we FEEL like we're dying, when in fact we're healthy. We've all felt insignificant, when in fact we are helping many people.  You get the idea. 

When we take loving actions, sometimes the feelings will follow...sometimes, not always.  Feelings are never to take the place of real love.  We love our wives, whether we feel like it or not.  We work and provide for our families whether we feel like it or not.  We take care of our bodies, especially when we don't feel like it.  If  you wait for loving feelings, you may be waiting a loooooooong time!

What if you decided to just obey God's command to love Him and others.  That kind of obedience brings a blessing.  It's not a matter of how you feel, it's a matter of taking action!  Love takes out the garbage.  Love does the dishes.  Love listens.  Love turns the other cheek.  Love goes the extra mile.  Love blesses those who persecute her.  Love takes an active interest in the lives of others, especially those most unloveable.  Love is a verb.  

This is the mature love the Apostle Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13.  He teaches us that love is supreme.  Gene Getz put it this way, "Love is the capstone for faith, because love believes all things.  It is also the capstone for hope, because "love hopes all things".  Love is the greatest, because it "never fails" (The Measure of a Man, 2004, pg. 51).

There was a man named John in the New Testament who learned how to love.   The son of a wealthy fisherman, John left his nets to follow Jesus.  The bible tells us John was an angry man. He and his brother were the 'sons of thunder'.  

John also wanted power.  His mother made a special request of Jesus.  She wanted him to give her sons prominent places of honor in Jesus' kingdom.  She wanted them to be his left and right hand men.  To make matters worse, she voiced her petition in public.  Still,  Jesus had a special love for John despite  John's faults!  You or I would have unfriended  John, but Jesus took pains to lead and teach John.   

Because of the love Jesus showered upon John, John went on to write The Gospel of John.  He also penned first, second, and third John as well as The book of Revelation.  How was this all possible, you may ask?  The answer is simple.  Love.

John learned how to love by being the direct recipient of love.  And not only just any kind of love, but the love of the master!  John chose to love others after experiencing the life changing love of Christ.   A man who longed for power, prestige and peace found all these things.  But he found them by going around the barn.  He found them when he discovered his position in Jesus.  He learned God really loved him despite his weaknesses and lack of social graces.    

He later wrote: "These things have I written into you that believe on the name of the Son of God:  that ye may know that he have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God". (1 John 5:13).  Wow!  What better way to say 'I love you.'  

John loved us so much, 

he left us these beautiful words 

to remind us how much God loves us!  

Loving God and others isn't measured by the depth of our warm fuzzy feelings.  Yes, feelings can be wonderful, but they're not always trustworthy.  True love trusts God's command to love him and others despite our feelings.  Even when it doesn't feel good.

How To Have Your Best Vacation Yet!

by Cory MacNeil

You've worked hard all year, and now it's time to take a break....the question is, what makes a great vacation?  After all, you only have a limited amount of time and you want to make the most of it.  We're glad you asked!  Taking a vacation doesn't have to be difficult.  A vacation can be an amazing part of your year....a time to recharge and make great memories with friends and loved ones.

The problem is, the human experience doesn't go away just because you have a week's worth of free time.  Let me explain.  Just because you have a week off, it doesn't mean your marriage is going to improve if it's been on the rocks awhile.  This applies to every area, including personal debt, health, spirituality, fitness, etc.  It's great, that you have a week off, but if you've let the chickens out during the last year, be sure they're going to come home and roost!

Maybe by now, you're not so excited about your upcoming vacation because there are issues you'll have to deal with.  Relax, there's hope.  You can still have a great vacation.  In fact, it can still be your best vacation yet.  Here are some tips to help.  But first, a bit of wisdom.

"Go to the ant, you slacker!  Observe its ways and become wise.  Without leader, administrator, or ruler, it prepares its provisions in summer; it gathers its food during harvest."  Before you get all out of sorts about the slacker bit, think about what the writer in Proverbs 6:6-8 is saying.  Although you lack wisdom, it's yours for the taking if you'll take time to take ONE small step.

If you're thinking about stopping for an extended period of time, it MAY do you some good to stop beforehand.  Look before you leap.  Huge change doesn't happen over night, it's a result of lots of baby steps.  Ants are tiny, but they are able to do great works over a period of time, by carrying out small, simple tasks on a daily basis.  By the way, a slacker is someone who avoids pain.  We all get that.  Most people prefer comfort and pleasure.  Let's be honest.  Those aren't bad things.   Beware: don't  allow yourself to gravitate toward ease and the path of least resistance.  It's easy to stop doing difficult things that will improve not only the quality of your own life, but the life of others.

If you're planning on having a great vacation, the first step you might take is to make a plan.  A failure to plan is a plan to fail.  Sit down with a cup of coffee, some paper and a pen.  (Yes, paper!).  There's just something about writing things down.  Now, write down 5 or 10 things you'd like to do on your vacation.  If you're planning on a stay- cation, still take the time to make a list.  The weakest ink is stronger than the strongest memory.

Believe it or not, a lack of finances doesn't have to be an issue.  You're not taking a break to spend money, you're taking a vacation to spend TIME.  You can have just as much fun at the local public beach as you can in California.  Your wish list might include visiting an old friend.  Do some gardening, complete an unfinished product, meet with a spiritual mentor, etc.  Write down whatever comes to mind, you can always edit later.  The list doesn't mean that you have to do everything on it.  At this point, you are brainstorming.

If you've decided to work on one of the issues that surfaced earlier in this post, write it down!  You don't have to stress and work on it for your entire vacation, but you can take an ant step.  For instance, if it's personal debt, plan on taking a book out from the library that will educate you.  Plan to meet with someone who seems to have their financial act together, over coffee.  Balance your checkbook.  Look at your bills and identify needs and luxuries.  You get the idea.

The key is balance!  Too much of a good thing can be a not so good thing and this includes vacations.  Scrap your fitness routine for a week and you'll see what I mean.  Sleep in every day until noon and you'll understand.  Go on a drinking binge and eat fast food every meal....Ignore your relationships.  You get the idea.  Disrupting a routine you've worked hard to establish will derail your growth and progress.

Congratulations!  If you're about to take a break, you have a wonderful opportunity to experience your best vacation yet!  Hot dogs on the grill with some good friends can be just as wonderful- if not more- than an extravagant meal at an expensive restaurant.  Besides, that kind of meal won't take you ten years to pay off!

Are You Average?

by Cory MacNeil

Let me predict the future.  Walk into any public area today and you’ll see everyone looking at the same thing- their cellphones.  It’s reached epidemic proportions, especially on the highways and byways.  Most of us wouldn’t dare drink and drive, but few people can resist the urge to answer a ringing cell phone while driving, or worse yet, texting.

Now here’s a question.  Do you consider yourself average?  Most of you consider yourself above average in a certain area or two.  Maybe you believe you’re above average in looks, social skills, leadership, etc...intelligence, earnings.  If so, great.  Maybe you are.  That’s wonderful.  Congratulations!

And if you have no self-control?  Congratulations!  You’re average....or maybe just immature.  Being average is no big deal, that’s par for the course for most people.  And being immature is no big deal, either....if you’re 12 years old.  The good news is you can be above average and mature.  It’s your choice.  But you can’t be either without a dose of self- discipline.

If you are a leader, being average is a big deal and so is your immaturity.  Remember the thoughts on texting and driving?  Texting or talking while driving, displays not only a lack of character, but immaturity as well and it’s a good way to kill yourself or somebody else.

In fact, most workplaces have strict cell phone usage policies in place.  However, as Kingdom Workers, what does our own personal cellphone policy tell us about how seriously we take the Great Commission?  Funny isn’t it?  It’s a serious issue during a temporary, earthly appointment, but irrelevant when it comes to the most important eternal occupation ever.

As a pastor, I’m concerned about seeing people walking around like Zombies.  Not only is there a lack of focus and productivity in the world today, media addictions are destroying relationships right and left.  Write it down!  Cellphone abuse is tearing our families apart rather than uniting them in most cases.  If you disagree, go eat a pint of Hagan Daz.  

For instance, you wouldn’t dare stab a needle full of Heroin in your arm and push the plunger day after day, would you?  However, we’ve accepted the idea that an unhealthy addiction is o.k as long as it has a colorful screen and wi-fi connectivity.  Unhealthy addictions in any shape or form are not acceptable.  One shot of Heroin lasts for God knows how long....you can ‘shoot up’ with media, day and night, day after day.  Too much Heroin and you die....too much media and you get to go on living in a self- induced semi- coma.  Studies have actually shown that constantly looking at a screen reconfigures the hard wiring of your brain.  

How many of you have been in the middle of a conversation when the other person’s phone rings?  Instantly, you wonder what's going to happen.  There’s the moment of truth....will they answer it, or won’t they.  You’re about to find out how you rank in that other person’s world, aren’t you?  If you answer (I realize there are emergencies), congratulations!  You’re average.  Again, that’s your choice.  You may have both character and maturity, but the signal you send MAY be interpreted differently.  The message you send may say “I’m average and immature, and I have no self- control.  Want to buy some of my stuff?

Why?  Because our actions in public are a reflection of our habits behind closed doors.  In fact, private decisions always go public.  Based on my purchases, you know what kind of car I thought about buying....house, shoes....the wife I thought about marrying.  The visible is always a picture of the invisible.

If you’re only 50 pounds overweight....Congratulations!  If you spend inordinate amounts of time on FB....Congrats!  If you take your spiritual life or leadership lightly....Congratulations!- you’re average.

Speaking of statistics, 84 percent of people surveyed in a new TIme Mobility Poll said they couldn’t go a single day without their mobile device in hand.

One in four people check their phones every thirty minutes, while one in five check every ten.

Time Magazine’s Deputy Managing Editor, Nancy Gibbs, wrote: “It’s hard to think of any tool, any instrument, any object in history with which so many developed so close a relationship so quickly as we have with our cell phones.”

The same article shared this great quote: “Thumbs are stronger, attention shorter, temptation everywhere.  We can always be mentally, digitally, some place other than where we are.”

If you don’t have anything better to do than play Candy Crush Saga or Angry Birds, while people’s eternal destinies are hanging in the balance, perhaps it’s time for a change.

If you’re sexting with someone other than your spouse and thinking it’s not going to have long term consequences, think again.

If you take your cellphone to bed with you, don’t be surprised if you end up exhausted or dead of a heart attack or stroke before 50.

The following story illustrates why this issue is so critical in our homes and families.  Years ago, I bought a new guitar.  Although I had a new one, my 6 year old son noticed I continued to play with my old guitar.  One day he observed, “Dad, you don’t like your new guitar, do you?”  I was shocked!  How did he know?  “How did you know?” I asked him.  “Easy,” he said, “you never play with it.”  (Out of the mouths of babes and infants).

Friends, what if our kids have gotten to the point where they believe we don’t love them because we never play with them? 

What if our spouses believe our media is more alluring to us than they are?

Conversely, what would happen if we exercised self- control and discipline in all areas of our lives?  I know, you’re Spirit-led except when it comes to using your cell phone.  I wonder if Jesus was alluding to the numb, half-lived existences people are experiencing today when he said: “I came so they might have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of?”  John 10:10 (The Message).

You’ve seen the cartoon.  A man is standing at the gates of heaven and St. Peter says: “You had such a wonderful life....the problem is you spent it staring at your cellphone!”  Friends, the kingdom deserves better than that.  Jesus deserves better than that.  Our friends and loved ones deserve better than that.  Lets stop acting like a bunch of dummies when it comes to using our cellphones!  Are you with me? 

How Long Should You Hold On?
by Cory MacNeil

Weeds!  Nobody likes them, but a lot of people tolerate them indefinetly.  It's just easier than buying some weed killer and taking the time to apply it.  Let's face it, WORK is a four letter word these days!  The problem is the presence of something unhealthy takes up the space of something healthy.  Get rid of the weed and a blade of grass can grow.  Today, you'll learn how to recognize when it's time to make a difficult change and how to go about doing it.

There are people who are aware of this principle and how it applies to their life.  Rather than allowing things to persist in an unhealthy state, they take action and get rid of the things between them and their preferred future.  Sometimes the things they get rid of can even be healthy.  It's not that good is a bad thing, good's just good.  But why stay with good if you can replace it with better?

Unhealthy people do just the opposite.  They may pull a weed or two in their life that is unpainful, but cringe at the thought of hurting someone elses feelings or being misunderstood.

A principle in the bible, no the other hand has better advice.  "A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it" according to Solomon in Proverbs 22:3.  And by the way, he was said to be one of the wisest men who ever lived.

When most people think about creating boundaries in their lives they believe it involves cutting ties with MGR's (Much Grace Required ) people.  If you do that, you may end up divorced and bereft of all friends and relatives.  After all, relationships can be hard work!  Rather than 'cutting bait' you'd do better to evaluate the relationship and determine if it's reparable or beyond repair.  Sometimes the  only way to find out is to get busy trying to fix it.  If you determine it's beyond repair, then you have to dump it.  Sounds harsh right?  The problem is that if you don't, it will come back to haunt you at the least opportune time!

For example, you don't replace a bald tire on your car.  It will hold up perfectly fine until you're on the way to your job interview.

Or, you don't pull the bad tooth.  Again, it doesn't break on Monday morning when the Dentist is open, it fractures at 6:00 p.m on Friday and you have to suffer all weekend.

Or, you have a heart attack the night before your daughter's wedding after decades of putting off physical exercise and a healthy diet.

So how do you know when it's time for a healthy ending?  After working on something and finding out it's unfixable,  you have to decide if the job, relationship, habit, hobby, situation, addiction is taking you in the right direction of your preferred future.  The choice to hang on when all other signs, evidence and experience dictates otherwise is just plain crazy!  Here are some weeds and possible ways of responding to them.

Not giving an alcoholic spouse an ultimatum is crazy!  Look, I love you, but I can't live this way.  I'm moving in with my sister until you get some help.  I don't want our children exposed to this any more.

Allowing someone to put you down after repeatedly asking them not to, is crazy!  Please don't call me anymore.  I appreciate our friendship, but I don't appreciate being the butt of all your jokes.  I've asked you in the past, so lets just take a break until you decide to make a change.

Lying for your co-worker for the four hundred and ninetieth time because you want to keep them happy is crazy! (Tweetable) Joe, the boss was looking for you again yesterday afternoon while you stepped out for two hours and I found myself making up another story.  As you know, this goes totally against everything I stand for and I can't do it any longer.

How do you know when something isn't quite right.  You'll know!  Listen to warnings and nudges from your inside in the form of inner dialogue.  You'll hear things like:

Something's not quite right here.

I feel like this happened before and I don't want it to happen again.

I told myself I'd never do this again, what am I doing here?

I'm going to regret this tomorrow.

This feels just like last time.

You get the idea....

There is no end to the hells you'll put yourself through if you are unwilling to take responsibility and control for your life.  

Too often, people 'put up' with nonsense when they could be making the changes that will take them forward.  Using Poison Ivy as toilet paper once happens, but why make the same mistake twice?  Is it time to hit the stop button on something in particular in your life that is unhealthy, maybe even good, that is taking up space for something that is healthy and life giving?  Pull the weeds, and plant a seed.

May you be blessed beyond measure today.  May you have the courage to cut the bait or make a change that's going to help you get healthier....socially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.  May God bless your small decisions and multiply your joy and sensitivity to Him.  May you share this principle with your friends and loved ones.

#37- Change Your Playlist and Change Your Life
by Cory MacNeil

It's been a good morning.  The birds are singing.  The run is done.  Devotions were great.  There's a trajectory.  But things weren't always that way.  They mostly, never are.  Otherwise there'd be no growth....no development.

How about you?  Are you growing?  Are you chasing your dreams or still warming up?  Are you more loving than you were a year ago?  More patient?  Joyful?  At peace?  Maybe it's time to change some tapes.

If you're like a lot of people, you find yourself listening to the same old tapes all of the time.  There is the tape that tells you there is not enough time.  Maybe there's a tape that tells you it's too late.  There's the tape about the divorce.  The tape about your unloving father or your alcoholic mother.  The tape that life is a drag or survival of the fittest.  Right?

Why don't you change the tapes?  If you spend more time watching T.V, than reading the bible, you should change the tapes.  You wouldn't pump raw sewage into your basement, so why are you allowing your soul to be flooded with input that only discourages and depresses.  Maybe it's time to get the smell of couch potato off of you and go take a run or a walk.  Reconnect with a friend who fills your tank.  Lift some weights.  Rake a neighbor's lawn.  A rut is just a grave with both ends kicked out.

I know, you're spiritual.  I know you are probably doing the best with what you have.  I know you're a good mom.  But I also know that like most humans you need a little prodding sometimes.

Are the tapes you're listening to, helping you to move in the direction of your preferred destination or are they taking you further away?  Will your diet allow you to watch your kids graduate or will it lead to an early grave?  People who live dangerously and reckless lives are often shunned, while others are ignored while they slowly but surely kill themselves one Twinkie at a time.  (Isn't it funny now Hostess products always take the hit for junk food).  If you don't think Jesus has anything to say about this, think again...or Paul....or Peter.  Your body is your temple.

Too often, salvation and eternal life are viewed as Fire Insurance and not a way of living.  Yes, Heaven is going to be a wonderful place, but what about NOW?!  What are you being saved from now?  Is your marriage the pits or is it being rescued from sliding over the cliff?  What about your neighbor?  You do know her name, right?  And her hobbies?

Jesus was quoted as being about his father's business.  Which begs the question what is his business? You may be wondering what the family business is all about.  Good question.  Let's flesh that out a bit.

"My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves." 1 John 3:18-20.  The Message

(I underlined the section in the verse because it ties in with the idea of changing the tapes.)

The only way to rise to the top of a family business that makes any sense at all is to start on the ground level.  That by the way is very Tweetable!  You start with basic responsibilities and advance as you master the small things.  That probably reminds you of another scripture or two.  The reason, unsuccessful people never master the immensities of life is because they promote themselves too quickly without mastering the basics.  Love is one aspect they never master from top to bottom.  And in our Family Business as believers, love MUST be mastered from top to bottom.  Very often, people are placed on a pedestal because of their ability to earn, but it's not very often when people are scored on their ability to love.  Do you want your children to be successful financially or are you more concerned with how well they treat God and others?

So what tapes do you need to change today?  If you already have friends, maybe it's time to start meeting with some mentors.  Is there anything on your hard drive that needs to be replaced?  Your bookshelf?  I realize you're probably doing the best with what you have right now, but if what you have is taking you in the opposite direction of your preferred destination, then it needs to go!  Today.  Period.

1)  Why don't you do something practical and make up a quick playlist on your iPhone of songs that inspire you to run your course?  Add an encouraging sermon or podcast while your at it.

2)  Now time the length of your playlist so that as you get ready in the morning it ends when it's time to head out the door.  Chances are a normally mundane part of your day will start to be enjoyable. Make the playlist 30 minutes long or so and you have something to play in the afternoon if you need a time to renew or divert.   It's better than Facebook and won't leave you half as blue.

And now for the benediction.  May you have the courage to evaluate your life and dispose of harmful habits and routines.  May you be filled with and experience the joy that comes when you put the rights of others before your own rights.  May you find the energy to throw the football on the front lawn with your son before the bus comes.  May you be conformed to the image of the Son.  May you be BLESSED!

#35- What Drives Habits?
by Cory MacNeil

I'll never forget my life coach's reaction as I sat across from him in his office.  I was in the middle of making an excuse for my lack of performance in an area we'd talked about, when he put his hand up.  I stopped speaking and he made me realize what I was doing.  Why?  He knew that if I stayed on my current path, I'd keep getting the same results.

Habits can be our enemies or our friends.  For most people, the word habit suggests something bad.  Either way, your current habits are giving you the results they're designed to give.  If you are looking for better results, you need better habits.  There are no shortcuts.

Fortunately, small changes in your habits can lead to dramatic results.

The first step is to identify your cravings or motivations.  Why do you need to walk to the corner store to buy chocolate every afternoon on your break?  Is it possible that you are using chocolate to feel better?  Maybe you aren't in the position to change careers at the moment, but you could call or text a friend or relative- did you catch that?  As if relatives aren't friends. Who wants to be a millionaire?- making a purchase that only provides temporary satisfaction and long term guilt.

Phone a friend.  Phone your spouse.  Get an accountability partner.  Take a walk- minus chocolate.  Listen to a motivational audio book or some soul lifting music.

An Olympian once said: "Poetry, music, forest, oceans, solitude- they are what develop enormous emotional strength.  I came to realize that spirit, as much or more than physical conditioning, had to be stored up before a race." -Anonymous.  Did you catch that?  Spirit and energy are resources that can be stored up?

Success as the world defines it today is based on what's happening on the outside.  You can fix up the outside all you want, but the question remains: how often do you focus on renovating your inner life?

It's been said it's not a question of what you're eating, but what's eating you.  Again, the first question to ask is why am I doing this?  This can actually be not only very disheartening, but very freeing.  That question can also take you on a wild goose chase if you entertain indefinetly- peel one layer of the onion and there are more below it.

At the end of the day, your cravings drive your habit.  For example, some people repeatedly spend more money than they have because they crave status.  Some people eat to "feel good".  Some people habitually put others down, to make themselves feel and look better.  Some people work incredibly long hours and neglect their family and end up losing everything they worked for.  Why?  Cravings.

A better question is: what am I going to do achieve my goals?  Doing is an action that can be measured.  Sit-ups can be counted.  Accountability software for your computer is tangible, etc.  While you're at it, visualize the steps you need to take.  Imagine yourself walking around your neighborhood after work and imagine how good it will feel, knowing you are working towards a goal.

There are healthy and unhealthy ways to satisfy cravings.

Maybe you already have a P.O.A (plan of action:- small doable steps that add up to large results).  But what you really need is a better one.

I take that back; most people have a P.O.A to reach their goals.  Successful people have a plan B, unsuccessful people "wing it".  You don't just need a plan for when things go smoothly....you need a plan for when things don't go as planned.  So if you plan on jogging, what do you plan on doing if you have a sprained ankle?  See the difference?  Successful people have a plan to "power through setbacks."

So what is your plan?  Maybe you're perfectly content with your current results.  Congratulations!!  If not, maybe it's time to start examining the results you're getting and come up with a plan to get the results you want.

Going back to what my Life Coach did....if you are unhappy with the results you're getting, but intend to keep on doing the same thing over and over again- STOP!!!  If you want to change your life, you have to change your habits.

#34- Building the Stairway to Your Dreams

Have you ever known anyone like my Grandfather?  He was a farmer who woke up early and worked all day....almost everyday.  Only towards the end of his life do I remember him taking a brief nap after lunch before resuming his labors.  That kind of role model impacts you for life.  In fact, as you get older you begin to ask yourself how they did it. 

The answer is simple, successful people realize the power of....habits.  His drive, momentum, and flow were the result of not just one, but many habits he had developed over the years.  Take a look around and you’ll see people like this everywhere.  Great athletes know this (investigate the daily habits of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps).  Tiger Woods knows this secret.  CEO’s as well as godly parents know this.  Success does not come by accident, it is achieved not just by the development of one habit (though one habit can transform many as you’ll learn in a later post).

The power of habits works both ways.  For instance, maybe you decide to stop for a donut on the way home from work because you need some energy.  The next day you stop again.  Now a month later you are ten pounds heavier and sixty dollars poorer according to your bank statement.  Why?  You’ve developed a new habit.  Unfortunately, what seems harmless in the beginning can turn out to be dangerous.

Or maybe you decide to start walking everyday.  It’s been a month now and your jeans are a little less tight.  Because your jeans fit better, you started feeling better about yourself.  Feeling better about yourself, you decided to stop visiting the donut bakery after work and because you stopped that habit you are now sixty dollars richer according to this month’s bank statement.

If you’re wondering what new habits are worthy of developing and which ones you need to ditch, play the video.  If you stay on the path you’re on, and continue to practice your current habits, what is your destination going to be?  Will you be healthier and happier five years from now?  This sounds harsh, but will you even be alive?  Imagine what would happen if you die because of your habit and your family is left to fend for themselves.  Imagine you’re wife for instance.  She is a homemaker so now that you’re dead she has no income.  You’re children have no Dad to help them navigate their teenage years.  You’re wife finally gets a job but it’s not enough to pay the mortgage so she has to sell the house and get an apartment in the city.  You’re teenaged daughter longs for attention and starts dating a guy who is concerned with nobody but himself.  You get the picture.  

You're dreams aren't just going to fall into your lap.  You have to chase them.  Why do successful people enjoy performing mundane tasks like farming?  Successful people see ordinary tasks as stepping stones to achieving the life they've always dreamed of.  

The video we just watched is more than just a little unnerving.  If you decide to change your habit, maybe the video will play out like this.  You start walking every other day and talk with others who are trying to get healthier.  Better yet you start a walking group.  Five years later you attend your daughter’s graduation from college.  Five years later you get to walk her down the aisle.  Ten years from now you hold your first grandchild in your arms.  You get the picture.  No, we’re not in total control of our destiny, but we can stack the deck and be proactive.

There are three steps when it comes to forming new habits.  We’ll talk about these three things more in our next posts.  But for now, what is one small change you can make today that is going to take you in the direction of your dreams?  While you're at it, spend some time playing the video of how this might impact your future.

#33- Are You Becoming or Doing?
by Cory MacNeil

Remember Christmas Eve as a child?  You could hardly sleep in anticipation of Christmas Day.  The first brother or sister to wake up would get every other child up and run and jump on Mom and Dad's bed.  Finally, with a bit of coaxing and rough housing, my parents got out of bed and us kids would tear into our presents.

I'm not sure if I could lay a hand on a single Christmas gift I received as a child.  Most of them ended up broken, abandoned or sold at a garage sale.  But as long as I live, I'll never forget the anticipation of waking up to wonderful gifts.  Isn't it ironic that as children we were so anxious over temporal gifts and as adults we are so bored with eternal gifts.

In the last post you learned about the magnetic power of your future and destiny.  You learned that a bright future has the power to pull you forward.   You learned that you can tie a rope to hope or drift. In the meantime, is today going to be a significant milepost in your journey or just another chalk mark on the wall of your cell?  What is it about today that gives you something to look forward to?

Like most people, you probably think you have a problem.  What is it....an insensitive spouse....a rebellious child....unstable or diminishing finances....failing health?  Regardless of how old you are, some of these things may never change.   That's the bad news.  The good news is YOU can change.

Again, you may not be able to change your circumstances, but you can change your response.  More than problems in your life, there are patterns.  Patterns can be either your friends or your enemies.  For example, when your spouse refuses to help with the dishes, you can either yell at her or go out and buy a new flat screen for your man cave.  Just kidding!  But you get the idea.  We can resist openings to stand up for our rights or we can follow our egos like an Ox to the slaughter.  Once we nail down the idea that we can resist temptation and begin to experience the joys that come with victory, things begin to change.  Again, your wife may or may not start helping with the dishes, but your won't have oil under your nails and your monthly credit card bill will go down.

Put another way, imagine if you decided to build a shed in your back yard.  Things are going well.  You finish the foundation and begin the walls.  Then, for various reasons you begin to spend increasing amounts of time, tearing down what you've built.  For instance, you get mad because your son spills the bucket of nails and tear down a wall.  Another day you kick a door down because your neighbor complains about all of the banging.  If you're not careful, the shed will never be completed.  Why?  Because something that takes years to build can be torn down in a matter of minutes.  This applies to marriages, character, reputation, ministries (times two!) and so on.

This principle can also be applied as follows.  Great works take time.  So why not start today.  Begin with this question:  are the patterns in my life giving me my desired results or does something in the mix have to be adjusted?  The real conundrum is not what are you doing, but what are you becoming?  If your desired self portrait at the end of your life is a woman surrounded by children and grandchildren who love her, are you more patient at the family gathering on Thanksgiving than you were five years ago or do you still fly off the handle when your five year old grandson spills the gravy boat?

Now, to get back to your day.  I know you are not messed up, but your friends are, so the following advice may help.  What should I do today is a good question.  But a better question is what am I going to change today to become the person God wants me to be....that version of myself that's been alluding me for years?  Another tip is to keep your eyes on God's performance rather than your own.  His performance inspires, ours tires.

You may decide to begin by altering your calendar or the contact list on your cellphone.  But wait a minute, before you get any ideas about axing your friends on Facebook, or quitting your job, you might consider adding a few friends or expanding your work circles.  Why not kill two birds with one stone and schedule lunch with someone who is positive and successful?  After all, you're not looking to downsize, you're looking to grow, right?

When you begin to look at each day as an opportunity to become all you were designed to be and not just slots to fill with activities, an amazing thing begins to happen: you begin to live and dream and not just drift.  So why not program a better destination into your GPS today and begin the journey.  The only other option is to leave the car in park and we both know that will get you nowhere.  Besides, have you ever noticed that you can't change direction in a car unless it's moving?

#32- How Can I Secure My Future?

by Cory MacNeil

If you're like most people right now, you're beginning to wonder if Spring will ever come again.  This winter in the Northeast has been one for the books and it's taken it's toll on many.  If you're not careful, you can get to the point where you think nothing's ever going to change.  But that's not the voice of God talking to you.  Left unchecked, your hopelessness can infect not just your immediate future but your destiny.  What if one realization could change all of that?

In the bible, we learn that our futures are anything but bleak!  The book of Genesis begins in a garden and in the book of Revelation we find out there is a city beyond our wildest dreams.  Not the kind of city we're familiar with- a place of poverty, ruin and despair- but a place where there is order and beauty and great joy!  Not only that, but Jesus is there and will wipe away every tear.  Yes, there is ruin in this lifetime, but there is also redemption and restoration.  The world is a mess, but Sunday is coming!

If you're not careful, you can long for this kind of world to the point that you become inactive in this one.  When you do, you miss out on the opportunity to be a light to the people who are in darkness here.  The people who especially pay the price for our lack of presence are the ones we care for the most.

So what is the key?

The key is to reexamine your beliefs.  Do you believe there is someone larger than you who has your best interests in mind and they are drawing you to themselves?  Or do you believe it's all in your control?  Jesus frequently used the image of fishermen who used nets.  Peter, James and John were this type of fisherman.  When Jesus first encountered them, they were mending their nets.  Jesus told them if they followed him, he would make them fishers of men.

Today if you've been captured in the net of God's love, I want to remind you that you have a brighter future than you could ever imagine or believe.  What if your only requirement was to trust.  Stop flopping around in the net and let a power bigger than you haul you to shore.  

Common thinking tells us to resist power outside of ourselves.  We'd rather fight or flee than rest and see.  

So what impact is your future having on you today?  Is it strong and powerful?  Are you confident it has the strength and ability to reel you in or are you hopeless and just floating around in the flotsam and jetsam?  

What if you started viewing the brightness of your future in such a way that you ran towards it?  To know God is to love God.  So do you know Him?  If so, how well.  Maybe part of the reason you're not to excited about what lays in store is because you don't know Him all that well and the plan He has for you.

Paul said to the believers in Thessalonica: "It is clear to us, friends, that God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special."

Maybe it's time you traded in your version of your story and started believing God's version of your story.  Your story is a jewel embedded in His story.  Just imagine, in His story you are a trophy beyond compare....so much so that He brags about you!  Catch a glimpse of that kind of future and you'll run for it!  

#26- How to Kill A Dragon

by Cory MacNeil

Maybe it’s a co-worker, but it could be anyone, including your spouse, a friend or a neighbor.  Every once in awhile, something happens....some kind of tension or conflict...and you bite your tongue and don’t say anything.  Instead you let it burn in your chest like a....dragon.  With the passage of time the dragon grows bigger and bigger.  In the process, you leave the door wide open for other dragons to enter.

Dragons were never meant to be kept under lock and key.  First, they cost too much to feed and they’re a mess to clean up after.  On a real bad day, they may burn your house down.

The bible says to ‘be angry and sin not’.  Despite your best efforts to go with the flow and maintain peace, there will be times when you CHOOSE to speak up.  Other times the words will just come out of your mouth.  Maybe this happened to you just recently and you’re still surprised by it.

We can only take care of Dragons for so long, before it’s time to set them free.  Otherwise we just keep on taking care of them and suffering emotional exhaustion and hopelessness in the process.  It’s hard to concentrate on other fruitful matters when every moment of your day is spent taking care of a dragon.

Is it time that you had ‘the talk’ with someone?  Have you been put in a position of compromise but you’ve just kept your mouth shut and gone along with the plot?  Maybe, just maybe, the other person is wondering how long you’re keeping so quiet.  Maybe they have a Dragon or two of their own.

Sometimes amazing things happen when we set our dragons free- it’s called communication.  Other people don’t know what we’re thinking or feeling unless we show them.  When we communicate, beautiful things happen.  Ultimately, things may not go as you plan when you set your Dragon free, however, chances are things will go swimmingly well.

Tweet this: Don’t be afraid to set up some boundaries in your life.  Letting others continually invade your private space not only burns you out in the long run but gives others a false sense of freedom.  

Ironically, liberating a dragon is just what the doctor ordered in many cases when it comes to accelerating a relationship.

If there’s one thing that’s lacking today, it’s transparency.  Your honesty and openness may be a cup of cold water to someone who has grown accustomed to a world of people who are private and silent.  So go ahead and set a dragon free today.  It’s a lot cheaper than feeding one.

#25- A Key to Shaking Your Past
by Cory MacNeil

Maybe you're sick and tired of winter and thinking about the days to come when you can fire up the grill again and take a dip in the pool.  Having just come back from Miami, I can assure you awesome weather is on the way and you'll be smiling again soon.  How can you be sure?  You can be sure because of what's happened in the past.  They're called seasons and they are as predictable as the rising and setting of the sun.  Today, we'll unpack that idea some more and see why it's so important to you as you map your future.

Here's a snippet from my book on writing to get us started.

Backstory is Powerful!

With it, you may write the next great American novel.  Without it, you’ll have no idea why your main character Bob really chose Alaska with it’s voracious bugs and even more voracious Grizzly Bears!  When he hits his thumb with his hatchet you know what he’ll say before he says it.  When he decides to leave the woods and hitchhike back to talk with the authorities in Toledo, Ohio you’ll know why.

Until then, here’s a tip.  Your reader doesn’t need to know the entire backstory behind “The Untimely Death of Backwoods Bob.”  You will know and you will share as you see fit.  Remember, you don’t just hook a fish, you have to keep her on the line.  I know what I would have happen to Backwoods Bob on his way back to Toledo, Ohio- but I’ll let you figure that one out for yourself.

In the meantime, let it suffice to say that not only are some people born in a barn, some people die of Cancer while on their way to confess a crime they committed twenty years ago!  But not “Backwoods Bob”, he died on the bus of gangrene from the wood chopping accident one mile outside of Toledo.  

Which leads us to consider what must happen to every character ever written about- they must develop.

The preceding paragraphs are from my book "Set the Hook!  5 Powerful Storytelling Secrets."  I hope these words not only inspire you, but bring out the best in you as you try and decipher your own life story.

Backstory is what makes others interesting when we meet them.

Backstory makes everyone you meet interesting.  Chances are if you're taking people for granted, you've forgotten the fact that everyone has a story to tell and each one is different.

We love stories!  What better way to feed our love than listening to others.  

Tweet this!  "Too often, however, we do too much talking and too little listening and then we prescribe cures without thoroughly diagnosing the symptoms."

So what is your backstory?  Is it exciting?  Depressing?  Heartbreaking?  Take some time and reflect, then map out your plan for the future.  Sometimes the past makes a great rudder for navigating the oceans which lie ahead.  Rather than beating yourself up for past mistakes, determine to be wiser in the future.  Count loss in the past as a gain in the form of an education.  You get the idea!

If you've enjoyed this post, please be sure to check out previous ones.  You can find the links below.  And, if you're a writer or an artist of any sort, you can buy my book "Set the Hook!  5 Powerful Storytelling Secrets", by clicking the link to the right of this article.  In the meantime, stay tuned for more blurbs to come!  

#23- Life Is Not About......
by Cory MacNeil

Life is not about the deer!  There, I feel better now because I've been wanting to say that all week.  Let me explain.  Last weekend my son was watching an old, old, old video of my deceased grandfather along with my dad and a friend watching herds of deer being fed corn in the depths of winter.  Naturally, the deer were the stars of the show....back then that is, now that my grandfather is gone I kept praying the cameraman would stop videoing the deer and get some shots of my grandfather.  Eventually he did and I saw him alive once more!  Thus, I want to say it's not about the deer.

Fast forward a couple of days and I learned that a man famous in the world of deer hunting died at the age of 60 in his sleep.  Ugggg.  Lane Benoit was not only a great deer hunter, but bubbling over with life and enthusiasm.  Again, it's not about the deer.  We were at the Big E in Springfield and we asked Lane for directions to one of the booths.  He started to explain then just said "Follow me!."  How can you not like that kind of guy?

Chances are you don't hunt deer.  But are there any things that have gotten your attention other than people.  I realize people can be a real pain in the neck and all, but each one of us is a miracle.  Anyone who has lost a friend or loved one knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Fast forward to last night.  I was listening to Rob Bell's first podcast called Robcast and he talked about how Moses walked by the bush and it was burning.  Rob said some people believe it was always burning, it was just the first time Moses noticed it.  I don't care what you think about that take to be perfectly honest.  But I have noticed that you can go through life and never see the miracles all around you.  In fact, people are like burning bushes that we never take notice of.  Why?  Because we never notice the obvious.  We're blind that way.

After this week's events I just wanted to go to the Jesus room and worship for awhile.  That's a good thing.  SO into the living room I went and sat in front of the burning bush for awhile and it was GLORIOUS!

Fast forward some more to tomorrow.  Tomorrow I head for a cruise to the Bahamas with four amazing people- my family.  I'm sooo looking forward to spending some major quality and quantity time with the loves of my life.  Never before have I appreciated my family as much as I do in these latter seasons.  We even went the extra mile and got a balcony!  Why?  Because I care more about my family than I do the money.

Speaking of seasons, I've reached a new one myself.  In my new season I'm going to be ME.  You can take me or leave me.  Either way, I'll still love you.

So, in the days to come, you will agree or disagree with me.

In the days to come, you will love me and hate me sometimes.

In the days to come, you will criticize my work and look right past me most of the time, but I'm not going to keep my light under a bushel basket.

In the days to come, you may not see or talk to me before I go home to glory, but I promise you this.  One day you will cry when you attend or hear about my funeral and I'll do the same when I hear about yours.

Tweet this: "I'm ready for the 2.0 version of myself and I hope the world is too!"

SO what I'm doing today is this.  I'm not dead (yet) so every day I want to do the things that would make me cry at my own funeral if I were to die today.  Complicated, I know, but I think we're onto something.

Paul said: "I die daily".  I think he realized how immanent death was and lived each moment to the fullest in close connection with a personal God who loved him beyond measure.  You see, it's not so much about death as it is life.  Life is not about stuff or things, or trophies, it's about God and people.  Everything is going to burn up one day, but we last FOREVER, SOMEWHERE!  As Steve Brown would say: "You think about that!".

Getting back to the deer, I'm the guy sitting farthest back in the row and the others are family and friends.  I'll admit I still like getting a deer.  But what's more important are the guys in the photo with me.  They're one of a kind, genuine, special, kind- they're my friends.  They're the ones I may miss someday, not the deer.  Deer are temporary- souls are eternal.  So again, I want to say life is not about the deer- they're just the consolation prize.

#21- Mining Your Own Business

My stint in Network Marketing was short lived.  The promises made by the people  at the top of the pyramid never materialized and I sold the large inventory I’d acquired at a reduced price.  That was over twenty years ago, but I haven’t forgotten a valuable lesson I learned from that experience: mine your own business.

I had a job at the time that could have earned me more money using a fraction of the energy.  For example, I could have worked some overtime here and there.  Instead, I marketed my entire circle of family, close friends and acquaintances.  To this day, I’m unsure if some of them still trust me.  You know you are in deep waters when you attempt to make sales outside of deep relationships.  The other warning light is when you believe you can make lots of money with little or no work required.

When we work outside of our niche, we’re like the proverbial torch that is just a flame rather than a laser: we lose focus, and lack results.  Instead of cutting steel, we’re in danger of burning the house down. 

Rather than sowing the forest, we’re sometimes better off cultivating the garden in our own backyard.  A nearby friend is better than a brother far off.

Ultimately, we don’t need a new wife or a new career- we need to take better care of the ones we have.  Often, we’re ready to trade in things that still have quite a lot of life in them.  Two licks and we’re ready for a new Tootsie Pop, while the best part is in the middle.  If you’re ready to trade, did it ever occur to you that maybe God knew the extent of your needs when he met them in the first place?

So mine your own business and you just might find the fulfillment that’s been right there before your eyes the whole time.  Trust me, it will cost you dearly, but it’s a lot LESS expensive in the long run!  In the words of Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, "Whatsoever thy right hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might."

#17- How Can I Change?

One day I woke up and I was 40 years old and slightly overweight.  O.K- I had a gut.  You know things have gotten bad when you step on the scale and it says, “One at a time please!”  Looking around, I learned I wasn’t the only one.  If you’re a guy with a paunch it appears that you’re hitting par for the course.  Suddenly, I was a long way from looking like the guy who ran track and played football in High School.

Thus, began the sit-up experiment: taking small steps to accomplish a large goal.  For the last month -or so- I’ve done 20 sit-ups every morning.  That’s it!  No more, no less.  Just 20 sit-ups during the morning hours.  It doesn't sound like much but thats over 600 a month.  The principle of taking small steps can carry over to every goal you set out to accomplish.

A couple of months later, I’m not there yet, but I'm making progress.  My core strength is returning and I have a greater desire to be active.  Why?  Because I’ve tackled a large change project by taking small, repeated actions.  Change by the yard is hard- change by the inch is a cinch!

Why not take a small step today?  Order the course you’ve looked forward to taking.  Read that new book.  Walk around the block.  Tell someone what area you’re working on in your life and create some accountability.  Go back to school.  Set up an automatic withdrawal with your employer and have twenty dollars a week taken out for your savings account.  A journey of ten thousand miles begins with the first step

Have fun accomplishing your goals while you’re at it!  Chances are you’ll enjoy the journey more than you can imagine and maybe, just maybe, you’ll reach your goal.  Do not despise the day of small things.  Time flies when you're having fun.  

We'd love to hear from you if you've found this post helpful.  What little steps are you taking to reach your goals in 2015?

#14- 3 Elements of Your Backstory

We all have a backstory.

Our backstory is the story that has led us up to this point in our lives.  This is the exciting element of meeting someone new: you get to hear their backstory.  I've chosen to take a snippet from my book on writing to help you get a better idea of how powerful backstory is.

"O.K, so lets say the main character of your story is Backwoods Bob. Where did he come from? What has led him up to this point in the story you are about to begin. Did he rob a bank in Toledo, to donate to a benevolent charity. A charity he felt passionate about but otherwise could not contribute to. Maybe a girl broke his heart and he left his job with UPS and used his savings to buy a one way ticket to Fairbanks Alaska. 

Until you’ve thought about your backstory you are not ready to write. Period. 

Bob. Backwoods Bob that is. His real name might be Robert Livingston. Well, he has a history. He has baggage. There’s a reason he lives in isolation. You can go back even further. Maybe in first grade his best friend died of cancer. Wait, not just any friend, Petey Ricker. He met Petey the first day of Kindergarten when Petey stuck up for him on the bus when Tom Tanks, the village bully, was threatening to punch Bob in the nose. Petey hit Tom Tanks over the head with his brown bag lunch and the rest is history."

So what's your backstory?  Take some time to reflect and you may be surprised.  Beautiful overtones in your story will arise when you take time to know your backstory.  Consider the fact that we all are a bundle of strengths and weaknesses and the story gets even better.

Here are three important elements of backstory.

1) Place: Nothing tells us more about a person than the places they've lived and their influences.

2) People: We're able to piece the puzzle together even more when we're introduced to the people who have impacted a character's life.

3) Poetry: Good backstory doesn't tell, it shows.  For example, instead of writing "Joe grew during those months", tell us how he grew.  For example, "Joe began spending extra time in the gym and taking frequent walks by the river after dinner."

In the days and weeks that come, I pray that you will begin to see the beauty in your own story and the lives of others.  What better time of year to go someplace quiet and think back on your amazing journey as you begin to think about the future.  

Merry Christmas!  I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on this subject.  Feel free to comment below.