Are You Average?

by Cory MacNeil

Let me predict the future.  Walk into any public area today and you’ll see everyone looking at the same thing- their cellphones.  It’s reached epidemic proportions, especially on the highways and byways.  Most of us wouldn’t dare drink and drive, but few people can resist the urge to answer a ringing cell phone while driving, or worse yet, texting.

Now here’s a question.  Do you consider yourself average?  Most of you consider yourself above average in a certain area or two.  Maybe you believe you’re above average in looks, social skills, leadership, etc...intelligence, earnings.  If so, great.  Maybe you are.  That’s wonderful.  Congratulations!

And if you have no self-control?  Congratulations!  You’re average....or maybe just immature.  Being average is no big deal, that’s par for the course for most people.  And being immature is no big deal, either....if you’re 12 years old.  The good news is you can be above average and mature.  It’s your choice.  But you can’t be either without a dose of self- discipline.

If you are a leader, being average is a big deal and so is your immaturity.  Remember the thoughts on texting and driving?  Texting or talking while driving, displays not only a lack of character, but immaturity as well and it’s a good way to kill yourself or somebody else.

In fact, most workplaces have strict cell phone usage policies in place.  However, as Kingdom Workers, what does our own personal cellphone policy tell us about how seriously we take the Great Commission?  Funny isn’t it?  It’s a serious issue during a temporary, earthly appointment, but irrelevant when it comes to the most important eternal occupation ever.

As a pastor, I’m concerned about seeing people walking around like Zombies.  Not only is there a lack of focus and productivity in the world today, media addictions are destroying relationships right and left.  Write it down!  Cellphone abuse is tearing our families apart rather than uniting them in most cases.  If you disagree, go eat a pint of Hagan Daz.  

For instance, you wouldn’t dare stab a needle full of Heroin in your arm and push the plunger day after day, would you?  However, we’ve accepted the idea that an unhealthy addiction is o.k as long as it has a colorful screen and wi-fi connectivity.  Unhealthy addictions in any shape or form are not acceptable.  One shot of Heroin lasts for God knows how long....you can ‘shoot up’ with media, day and night, day after day.  Too much Heroin and you die....too much media and you get to go on living in a self- induced semi- coma.  Studies have actually shown that constantly looking at a screen reconfigures the hard wiring of your brain.  

How many of you have been in the middle of a conversation when the other person’s phone rings?  Instantly, you wonder what's going to happen.  There’s the moment of truth....will they answer it, or won’t they.  You’re about to find out how you rank in that other person’s world, aren’t you?  If you answer (I realize there are emergencies), congratulations!  You’re average.  Again, that’s your choice.  You may have both character and maturity, but the signal you send MAY be interpreted differently.  The message you send may say “I’m average and immature, and I have no self- control.  Want to buy some of my stuff?

Why?  Because our actions in public are a reflection of our habits behind closed doors.  In fact, private decisions always go public.  Based on my purchases, you know what kind of car I thought about buying....house, shoes....the wife I thought about marrying.  The visible is always a picture of the invisible.

If you’re only 50 pounds overweight....Congratulations!  If you spend inordinate amounts of time on FB....Congrats!  If you take your spiritual life or leadership lightly....Congratulations!- you’re average.

Speaking of statistics, 84 percent of people surveyed in a new TIme Mobility Poll said they couldn’t go a single day without their mobile device in hand.

One in four people check their phones every thirty minutes, while one in five check every ten.

Time Magazine’s Deputy Managing Editor, Nancy Gibbs, wrote: “It’s hard to think of any tool, any instrument, any object in history with which so many developed so close a relationship so quickly as we have with our cell phones.”

The same article shared this great quote: “Thumbs are stronger, attention shorter, temptation everywhere.  We can always be mentally, digitally, some place other than where we are.”

If you don’t have anything better to do than play Candy Crush Saga or Angry Birds, while people’s eternal destinies are hanging in the balance, perhaps it’s time for a change.

If you’re sexting with someone other than your spouse and thinking it’s not going to have long term consequences, think again.

If you take your cellphone to bed with you, don’t be surprised if you end up exhausted or dead of a heart attack or stroke before 50.

The following story illustrates why this issue is so critical in our homes and families.  Years ago, I bought a new guitar.  Although I had a new one, my 6 year old son noticed I continued to play with my old guitar.  One day he observed, “Dad, you don’t like your new guitar, do you?”  I was shocked!  How did he know?  “How did you know?” I asked him.  “Easy,” he said, “you never play with it.”  (Out of the mouths of babes and infants).

Friends, what if our kids have gotten to the point where they believe we don’t love them because we never play with them? 

What if our spouses believe our media is more alluring to us than they are?

Conversely, what would happen if we exercised self- control and discipline in all areas of our lives?  I know, you’re Spirit-led except when it comes to using your cell phone.  I wonder if Jesus was alluding to the numb, half-lived existences people are experiencing today when he said: “I came so they might have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of?”  John 10:10 (The Message).

You’ve seen the cartoon.  A man is standing at the gates of heaven and St. Peter says: “You had such a wonderful life....the problem is you spent it staring at your cellphone!”  Friends, the kingdom deserves better than that.  Jesus deserves better than that.  Our friends and loved ones deserve better than that.  Lets stop acting like a bunch of dummies when it comes to using our cellphones!  Are you with me? 

#29- Visible Change

Last week you learned about creating a culture where people can speak and be heard.  So how do we illustrate that our culture is changing?  

Ten years ago when we moved into our current home, we decided to paint the kitchen Forest Green.  I still don't know what we were thinking.  We told ourselves we liked it, but admittedly the already dark room became darker and smaller.  Last week I decided enough was enough and repainted the kitchen a very light shade called Glowing Green.  The color is actually like a very pale shade of Robin's Egg.  What better way to spend the last freezing day of cold weather and get in gear for Spring?  And what better way to show others that change is taking place within you or your organization?

Boiling this down some more, people need more than just lip service, they want to see results.  It's one thing to tell your boss you are becoming a more productive worker; it's another thing to show your sales numbers are up 3 percent over last year.  You can say you're really learning a lot from the bible, but the question is where is is sticking out in your life?  How would your spouse rate your growth?  You say you love her, but do you still wait until she nags before taking out the garbage?

How do you know you're growing?  You know, when you start not only thinking differently, but acting differently.  Growing people are not comfortable with the status quo, they are people who chase what could and should be.  If you don't like the color of your kitchen or the state of your marriage or your job or the choices you are making, do something about it!  Better yet do something for others.  Take the first step in completing the project your wife has been talking about.  Pour the wine down the kitchen sink.  Send out your resume.  Stop being grumpy.


By now, you may be thinking I can't do all of those things by myself.  You're right.  But with God's help you can do a lot more than you could ever ask, imagine or think!  God hasn't left you here to be miserable and lonely and depressed, He wants you to have not just eternal life, but abundant life.  Yes, you will experience heart ache and loneliness, depression, and rejection, but that doesn't have to be the end of the story.  Ask God to help you write a better next chapter.  You can triumph over tragedy.  You don't have to live in the dark, depressing kitchen, you can paint it.

1.  Budget- If you're going to make some practical changes in your life, it might be helpful to budget.  I used to just dream and swipe, but last week I decided to withdraw a certain amount of money before going to the Home Improvement Store.  In the long run, I got the paint I needed and only 2 of the 4 LED lightbulbs I am using to replace the existing recessed lights in my soffit, but I experienced an unexplainable joy knowing I had exercised self- discipline while making my purchase.

2. Prioritize- Take some time to decide what really needs to change and focus on one project at a time.  Maybe right now you are unsure what your next project is.  Work on the last job God gave you until He shows you something different.  Don't forget that He is perfectly capable of inspiring you.  If you're not inspired at the moment, maybe it's because you haven't completed the last project.

I'm sitting in our 'new' kitchen as I write and it's amazing.  A once dark and dreary room is now fresh and bright and ready to receive huge infusions of Spring.  How about you?  Are the changes taking place in you or your organization being reflected in your physical environment?  Or is it business as usual?  You can tell people that change is taking place in you and/your organization, but unless they see some kind of tangible proof, chances are they won't believe you.

#28- Further Faster!

by Cory MacNeil

My Grandfather couldn't swim a lick to save his life!  However,  I remember him leading me across a train bridge over water late at night to go fishing!  As you can imagine, it's scary enough to step from tie to tie in daylight, let alone at night with fishing gear and a flashlight.  To this day, I don't know what he was thinking, but I do know this: communication can be scary!

Let me explain.  You may not think so, but expressing ideas, thoughts, dreams, visions and feelings is just as scary for some people as crossing a railroad bridge late at night.  It wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't been so hurt in the past.  At one point or another, they shared with someone and the other person neglected them or failed to listen.  Maybe they even gave it another shot, but had the same results.  You get the idea.

Now put a bunch of those people in the same room (almost everybody) and you've got an idea why team communication can be so difficult.  In some cases, the bridges aren't just rickety, they're non-existent!  As someone once said, "that's not a bridge, it's Termites holding hands!".  No wonder there's so much fear and frustration in our personal relationships and the organizations we're involved in.  Add a leader to the mix who has poor self esteem to begin with and the problem only escalates.

One thing you can do to ensure excellent communication in your personal relationships and organization is create a culture that accepts and encourages diversity.  That means our conversations and meetings should provide a safe zone, not a war zone.  Yes, we will disagree.  Yes, we often have silly ideas.  Yes, we will be misunderstood.  And yes, sometimes our meetings will be a flop.  But until you begin to invite honest feedback and input in your conversations, you're not going to grow.  Feedback is your friend.

For example, what would happen if you asked your spouse to share their heart with you on any given topic?  If you were to ask them, would they say they can talk to you about ANYTHING?  Or have they given up on having a heart to heart with you because you flew off the handle when they informed you of a late fee yesterday on your Visa bill?  How about the organization you lead?  Do your people have an open invitation to come and talk with you when they disagree with you or are they afraid because you justified your actions last time they did and failed to take into consideration what they were saying?

An amazing thing happens when you open yourself up to what other people have to say.

Ordinary conversations become extraordinary.

People begin to open up and blossom.

Creativity soars.

And, your blood pressure goes down.

If your personal relationships are struggling to grow and your organization is stalled, why not take the time to create a new culture where honesty and feedback are rewarded and not punished?  Take a cue from the indian tribes who pass a stick to the person who is talking and require everyone to listen while the person with the stick is sharing.

Looking back now, I still think my Grandfather was CRAZY for taking a young pre-teen across a train bridge on a dark night.  I don't know what we would have done if we'd taken one wrong step or looked up to see a bright light chugging our way.  But I do know this.  I want the bridge for communication between myself and others to be well constructed and safe.  I don't want it to be a place where tragedy might occur, I want it to be a place of transformation!

The stick's in your hands now, PLEASE feel free to comment below!

#27- How Do You Keep Moving Forward?

by Cory MacNeil

What is your vision for your life?  Your church?  Your family?  As someone once said, “A failure to plan is a plan to fail”.  Chances are if you have no blueprints for your life, you’re not going to build much of anything.  So where do you start.

Pastor and author Andy Stanley argues that vision starts with a daily commitment.  Think about that for a moment.  Regardless of how great your vision is, unless you’re willing to commit to it, you’re doomed from the start.

Will you make mistakes?  Yes!  But as Life Coach Dave Kraft says: “If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not making much of anything.”  

I believe one of the largest obstacles holding leaders back from casting vision is the fear of error.  As someone said, “there’s so much fear of strange fire, that we have no fire!”  When we fear what others will think if we fail, the obstacle in question is our pride.

So what is vision?  Vision is a clear mental snapshot of “what could and should be”, according to Stanley.  Vision is not the real challenge, the real challenge is making vision stick.  Some of you have an idea of what could and should be.  You may even have the wisdom to make it happen.  But are you constantly and creatively finding ways to keep your vision before the eyes of your followers?

Another good question to ask when trying to understand your vision is to ask what the problem is that needs to be solved.  For instance, maybe the problem is there are no basketball courts in your community for under privileged teenagers.  Or maybe the problem is poor morale at your place of employment because the employees have no allocated place or times to get together for meaningful connection throughout the day.  You can’t come up with a solution until you understand the problem.

Maybe you struggle with vision because you get side tracked.  Often, less important things take the place of the urgent.  Saying YES to vision may mean saying NO to less important details

Why?  The bible says: “Where there is no vision, the people perish!”.  Pastor Johnny Hunt says it this way: “Where there is no clear, prophetic revelation, the people cast off all restraints!”.  If the people in your life cannot see your vision, maybe it’s because you haven’t made it stick.  Vision is a big deal when you realize people’s lives are at stake. 

One way to make vision stick is to make it simple and memorable.  Provide a visual.  For example, if you’re a pastor, post a photo of you and your smiling church members standing in front of your sign.  What simpler way to illustrate the goals of joy and unity?  Again, not only must you state the vision, you must REPEATEDLY remind your people, family, organization and others of the vision.  

Perhaps right now, you are faced with a challenge.  Maybe, just maybe, you are burdened by the problem because God wants to use you to come up with a solution.  It wouldn’t be the first time.  A.W Tozer said: “God tells the man or woman who cares!”  The challenge you are facing right now may be a leadership opportunity in disguise.

Whatever you do, Stanley emphasizes that you take notice when people catch your vision and CELEBRATE!  As a leader you want to minor in pointing out flaws in other people and major in recognizing strengths.  

In the meantime, understand that people’s complaints can be useful in determining their understanding of your vision.  Feedback is your friend!  Sometimes their complaints only show their lack of understanding.  Leaders never take constructive criticism personally.

If you are currently struggling with making vision stick in your church, home, or workplace, be on the lookout for our next post when we discuss perhaps the greatest key to implementing your vision.  In the meantime PLEASE be sure to comment below.

What have you learned about vision?  And while you’re at it, buy a copy of Andy’s book Making Vision Stick.

#16- Go Further Faster!

Happy New Year!  It’s here.  My newest book on Life Coaching, that is.  The book is called ‘Life Coaching: 7 Myths Keeping You From Your Best Year Yet.’  Despite the title, this is not a self-help book- not that they are bad things- it’s more like a ‘Survival Box’ to help you keep going when the going gets tough should you begin your own personal journey with the help of a coach.

My own journey began earlier this past year when I was encouraged by a pastor/friend to find a personal mentor.  I didn’t have to look long, and the results have been nothing short of fantastic!

How about you?  Are you currently being helped by someone who has more experience than you in your particular vocation or interests?  Do you meet regularly?  Has there been fruit?  Some statistics state that 98% of all New Years Resolutions dissolve within two weeks!  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  A good coach or mentor can make all the difference in the world, especially when it boils down to perseverance and endurance.  Are you struggling?  Commit to meeting regularly with someone who can help you achieve your goals.

You see, the problem is that when it comes to change, we will meet resistance from every direction.  That’s why change takes more than just will power.  You need help!  And the more help the better.  When you decide to change, there are more forces working against you than you could ever imagine.  James, the brother of Jesus wrote: “My brethren, count it all joy, when you fall into diverse temptations. James 1:2”  That means there are times when we are under pressure from every direction!

The good news is that pressure can be the means used to transform something.  In this case, the object is your faith, not you.  That’s important to remember.  The stronger your faith is, the stronger you will be.  

So what are you waiting for.  You can get off and stay off the path of least resistance for good!  Start today and make 2015 your best year yet.  Find a coach and get ready for some amazing results.

2 Timothy 2:3-4 says: “When the going gets rough, take it on the chin with the rest of us, the way Jesus did. A soldier on duty doesn’t get caught up in making deals at the marketplace. He concentrates on carrying out orders.  The Message