#7- Two Way Street

Years ago, I made the mistake of going the wrong way on a One Way street.  Worse yet, a cop watched me do it!  To make matters even worse, he ticketed me and I had to pay a fine.  Why?  All because of a SMALL mistake.

It’s amazing what one small move can cost you.  Maybe it’s a little over eating or a little hard earned money with the hope of a large return or a little pornography.  In situations like these, we tell ourselves we’re only making a small investment and there is only the potential for a small loss such as a little extra weight or a little extra work or a little guilt.  With experience we learn that nothing could be further from the truth.

A little bit goes a long way!

At the same time, the principle works for good too!  A little exercise over a period of time yields higher levels of energy.  A little money invested over a period of time can yield nice returns.  And a little self control can lead to a better self image and healthier relationships.  

So what’s on your horizon right now?  Are you planting with purpose or hiding, hoping and hurting?  There was a man in the bible called Lot who decided to live in a wicked city because it was just a ‘little one’.  Years later, his family was a mess and all of them nearly lost their lives.  Why?  Because of something he considered little.  

I haven’t been ticketed for going down a One Way street in years, but that doesn’t mean I’ve been a perfect driver.  The fact is, I just haven’t been caught.  People drive, text and die everyday.  One beer and a car can be a recipe for manslaughter.

Likewise, a little bit can do a whole lot of good.  So, are you going to use self- control today and discipline or are you going to just wing it and hope.  At the end of the day, the choice is yours.  Life is a Two Way Street.  You just have to decide which direction you're going to travel in.

#6- Dress for Success (Part 2)

Last week, we talked about the importance of making outward choices that accurately reflect what is going on inside.  I confessed that my wife does most of my clothes shopping.  The good news is you can look good for free!  It has to be that way to level the playing field.

Let me explain further.  You see, inner beauty trumps outer beauty every time!  Remember the last time you apologized for being ugly with someone?  You apologized because the thoughts you were having affected your behavior.  

Try it today!  You see, what we wear is a reflection of what’s in our wardrobe.  For example, when people see us wearing an attractive shirt, it’s an indication that there is more where that came from.  Likewise, when we display attractive attitudes and actions, they rightly assume there is more where that came from.  There is a difference between a smile and a frown.  

People are experts at reading body language.  Why?  Because when they watch your body language, they intuitively know what is going on in the inside- especially if they've behaved the same way as you in the past.  One example is when people constantly avoid making eye contact with you while talking.

Finally, I’m not sad that my wife shops for my clothes these days.  However, I am glad that I’ve come to realize the importance of making sound choices when perusing my personal wardrobe.

Some simple guidelines:

1. Dress to impress.
2. Dress for success.  Dress for the job you want tomorrow, not the one you have today.
3. Dress your age.  Childish attitudes thoughts and behaviors are unattractive on an adult.

#5- Dress for Success

O.k, I confess!  Back in High School I spent a small fortune on clothes.  Not just any old clothes, but clothes from Chess King.  Confession #2: I’m married now and shop very little for myself.  Looking back, I realize dressing up was all about improving my personal image.

Looking good is about more than how you look on the outside.  You can put lipstick and mascara on the outside, but your inner self will always shine through.  Right?  We’re to let our lights shine before others so that they will glorify our Father in Heaven.

That’s why it’s so important to begin remodeling on the inside as well as fixing up the outside.  If we’re not careful to get rid of unattractive attitudes, thoughts and actions, they will pop up through the cracks like weeds through asphalt.

Today when I dress, I’m thinking about more than what I should wear.  I’m more concerned with how I’m going to treat the person I’m having breakfast with rather than what is in style.  Afterall, I don’t want to be ‘all show and no go’.  Besides, long after you’re gone, people will forget what you wore but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.

#4- RELATIONSHIPS

Years ago our family left a loved one home to cook a pork chop dinner while the rest of us went four- wheeling on a local ski mountain.  I don't exactly remember what happened, but I know that we got home a lot later than we said we would.  Our loved one had tried to keep the meal from getting too dry, but to no avail.  Years have passed, but I haven't forgotten their disappointment.  They sacrificed while we played and experienced the hurt of not meeting our needs while we were insensitive to theirs.

This memory resurfaced while recently reading Andy Stanley's book: "Choosing to Cheat: Keeping your Job from Cheating your Family".  Instead of a pork chop dinner, Andy uses another powerful illustration to make his point.  Stanley's premise is that work and family take up prominent positions in our lives and that when our lives are out of balance, it's usually our families that suffer.

It's disturbing to think that we "cheat on our families".  Sadly, however, it's true.  Why is it that we have a hard time turning down an overtime call? However, we make statements to our loved ones like: "We'll see...." knowing that we have no intention of fulfilling their requests

Nobody gets hit over the head and wakes up the next morning with perfect relationships.  In a previous post I stated that if you are looking for SOME THING to fulfill your deepest needs, you will be disappointed--especially a relationship.  The growing divorce rate proves that.  If you're unhappy and you think your fiance is going to make you happy, think again!  Chances are you'll be unhappier.  Don't go dragging kids into the mess.  Leave your engagement ring at the altar and save both your lives.

Now that we have wedding rings and the frailty of relationships in mind, lets talk about the will of God.  Does God want us to be miserable?  No, His will is that we would turn to Him and enter the deepest relationship imaginable.  But if we're honest, we "cheat" Him.

What if things were different?  What if we MINED our relationships rather than neglecting them.  We wouldn't need new wives or husbands, children, bosses....pastors.  Instead we would better appreciate the ones that we have.

I sure do wish I could go back in time and walk through the door just as the pork chops were being set on the table.  Although I can't, it's comforting to know that I'm still on my journey.  Yes, I believe by faith that I've already reached the other shore, but.... I'm still paddling.  I will experience more rough water along the way, that I'm sure of, but in the meantime I'm thankful for smooth waters, the people with me in the boat, and opportunities to make better decisions.  Not because I have to, but out of love.

#3- Can You Learn to be Happy?

Have you ever trained a puppy?  For some, this question brings back good memories.  For others, images of wet carpet spots or puddled floors appear.  But with any amount of persistence, Fido or Fifi learned to go outside.  Why?  Because he learned to.  It's that simple.

Some people are convinced they will never learn- especially if they are a bit older.  You hear them say things like: "I can't remember anything".  With a mind set like that, they are RIGHT!  You have to believe that you can or you won't.

Think back on learning to drive, or the time you learned how to search the web, or how to ride a unicycle (o.k, a unicycle is pushing it- but if you can learn to ride one of those things then Mars is the limit!).  The point is, nobody learns overnight.  Learning takes time and persistence and sometimes nothing short of fire in your belly.  In fact, a lot of the times, learning requires ONE STEP forward and TWO STEPS back.  You will have good days and.....well, you get the idea.

But believe it or not, you can learn to be happy regardless of what happens to come your way.  Difficult circumstances, health issues, or changes in finances or marital status do not have to be the end of your world.  Instead, they can be gauges to show you how well you are performing on your newest course.  This may sound harsh- I know- but it's the truth.

Life's too short to be unhappy.  And I promise you this, nothing in this world can provide you ultimate happiness- not a million dollars, or perfect health, or a stock photo marriage.  In fact, all of these things have the potential to make you UNHAPPY!

How then do we reach the heights of joy?  One move at a time.  Sometimes we fall and sometimes we stand tall.  So don't let the mindset of defeat set in- seize the day!  Give up and go up today!

#2- Are You Stuck?

Anyone who has ever skied, has had the pleasure of having the chair lift hum to a stop. There you are dangling above the trees while you should be swishing down the slopes with your friends. Which begs the question: “Have you ever been stuck?” Not just on a chair lift, but in general: relationally, work wise, financially?

I have, so I know how you’re feeling. In fact, just last winter I was stuck more than I knew. So I did what some people do. I told someone.

The person I told was kind and generous and he even offered to meet with me every month or so to help me move forward. The results have been phenomenal!!

Should you choose to get unstuck, it doesn’t have to be expensive. I’ve given gifts to the person who helps me, but it’s not always necessary. Perhaps someone in your inner circle or the circle of a friend could help you out. Perhaps they just have a lot of experience or they are actually an expert in their field. You could even get a book or DVD from the library to get you started for FREE! As someone once said: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear!”

Why not start today? In the words of pastor/teacher Andy Stanley: “A mentor will help you go further faster! So don’t wait to learn and get burned. Pick up the phone today or send the email. Who knows, one day soon you may find yourself sitting in the Lodge around a crackling fire with your friends sharing some Hot Chocolate and talking about some of the amazing developments in your life!  Walk through the door.