How Do I Overcome F.O.M.O?

by Cory MacNeil

F.O.M.O is a common disease today.  The crux of the matter is there is so much going on in the world that we can't possibly keep up with it.  People are making new posts, new inventions are being announced, there's now a better way of doing things than yesterday....It leaves us with F.O.M.O (Fear of Missing Out).  Did anyone like my post?  Did anyone text me about going out for coffee this afternoon?  You get the idea.  The easy stage of F.O.M.O is the diagnosis, the difficult part is treatment.

A common form of F.O.M.O takes place on Facebook.  You find yourself checking out the site despite the fact that it always leaves you feeling numb.  Why?  The problem is that people on FB tend to put their best foot forward.  If you're not careful, you'll find yourself comparing your average day to other people's highlight reels.  And rest assured people will post about the smallest highlight.  They'll show you a picture of their gourmet lunch, their weight loss graphs, the receiving of their honorary degree and their acceptance at Harvard.

If you struggle with F.O.M.O, it's quite possible that you are trying to keep up with others.  Degrees are wonderful and so are blessings as well as honors and weight loss.  Kudos to you if you've posted about any of these things.  But if the success of others is causing you grief, chances are there's a lack of contentedness in your own life.  If this makes you backup for a minute, that's o.k.  If it makes you hot under the collar, get over it.  Instead of trying to keep up with others (impossible in some cases) you want to GROW, and anytime you attempt to do so, there will be growing pains.  So grow up.

Ask yourself why you're dissatisfied with your own reel.  Maybe it's time you unplug from the media stream for awhile or make a rule for yourself about constantly checking for updates.  Turn off the notification noises on your phone.  Read a good book anytime you get the urge to surf.  Take a walk.  Reflect.  Write a letter.  Call a friend (I like that one but it's amazing how little we optimize it with the advent of texting).  Instead of copying the reels of others, recognize the intense beauty and uniqueness of your own.  When you cherish the intimate moments in your own life (your child attempting to catch raindrops under the eaves while waiting for the bus) you begin to build a treasury archive that is a limited edition for you and you alone.  Post all of your highlights and you'll be left with nothing of your own to relish.  Rather than being dissatisfied, choose today to bask in your own contentedness.

If none of these things work, there's something else you can do.  Celebrate with others who are celebrating!  That's right, it's counter intuitive.  You don't have to flatter people....that's not right either, but you can rally with people who have something to really celebrate.  Someone has said, never have so many lives so little lived, been so highly recorded.  That may be true.  But some people really have something to be happy about.  

Looking for a change?  Rather than posting every highlight of your own, post sparingly about yourself.  Instead, go about affirming others.  Make encouraging comments.  Use exclamation points!  Add value to their lives.  Be a Facebook pastor (encourager).  But don't be a cop either.  Many times, LOVE keeps it's mouth shut and prays.  Affirm the positive and disregard the mess.  Don't you just love it when someone notices every little thing you do or say that's wrong?  Let's face it, despite all of the negative things that have come along with media, there are some wonderful aspects.  Make the transformation from a critic to one who inspires. 

It's fine if you hate FB.  Join the crowd, many do.  But it's still a wonderful way to monitor what's going on in the lives of the people you care about.  And it's a wonderful way to bless others we don't see on an ordinary basis.

Posting valuable content and only receiving a couple likes while watching a "shallow" post garner 150 likes is only frustrating if you allow it to be.  (Tweetable).

If you're like most, you're not only afraid of missing out on new info, you're afraid of missing out on the wave of popularity others are riding.  Nobody likes to eat dust.  Most people like instant success and popularity, but the problem is IT doesn't work that way.  Begin adding value to the lives of others (especially the obscure and unloved) and this can change, but it doesn't happen overnight.  In the meantime, you have to believe that what you're doing is noble and worthy of your time.  Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning.  The problem is some nights last for months and years and many aren't willing to wait that long.  Are you with me?

But the artist creates, regardless of recognition or positive feedback.  They don't demand rewards from the Law of Reciprocity for every little bit of value they add to the lives of others.  The artist is happy with little or no reward if only he has the opportunity to exercise his craft.  

So, the good news about F.O.M.O is that it's curable.  Rather than falling victim to it, celebrate not only your own journey, but the journey of others.  You be the cheerleader of others regardless of any return and you might just experience something greater than a like or two.