Are You Average?

by Cory MacNeil

Let me predict the future.  Walk into any public area today and you’ll see everyone looking at the same thing- their cellphones.  It’s reached epidemic proportions, especially on the highways and byways.  Most of us wouldn’t dare drink and drive, but few people can resist the urge to answer a ringing cell phone while driving, or worse yet, texting.

Now here’s a question.  Do you consider yourself average?  Most of you consider yourself above average in a certain area or two.  Maybe you believe you’re above average in looks, social skills, leadership, etc...intelligence, earnings.  If so, great.  Maybe you are.  That’s wonderful.  Congratulations!

And if you have no self-control?  Congratulations!  You’re average....or maybe just immature.  Being average is no big deal, that’s par for the course for most people.  And being immature is no big deal, either....if you’re 12 years old.  The good news is you can be above average and mature.  It’s your choice.  But you can’t be either without a dose of self- discipline.

If you are a leader, being average is a big deal and so is your immaturity.  Remember the thoughts on texting and driving?  Texting or talking while driving, displays not only a lack of character, but immaturity as well and it’s a good way to kill yourself or somebody else.

In fact, most workplaces have strict cell phone usage policies in place.  However, as Kingdom Workers, what does our own personal cellphone policy tell us about how seriously we take the Great Commission?  Funny isn’t it?  It’s a serious issue during a temporary, earthly appointment, but irrelevant when it comes to the most important eternal occupation ever.

As a pastor, I’m concerned about seeing people walking around like Zombies.  Not only is there a lack of focus and productivity in the world today, media addictions are destroying relationships right and left.  Write it down!  Cellphone abuse is tearing our families apart rather than uniting them in most cases.  If you disagree, go eat a pint of Hagan Daz.  

For instance, you wouldn’t dare stab a needle full of Heroin in your arm and push the plunger day after day, would you?  However, we’ve accepted the idea that an unhealthy addiction is o.k as long as it has a colorful screen and wi-fi connectivity.  Unhealthy addictions in any shape or form are not acceptable.  One shot of Heroin lasts for God knows how long....you can ‘shoot up’ with media, day and night, day after day.  Too much Heroin and you die....too much media and you get to go on living in a self- induced semi- coma.  Studies have actually shown that constantly looking at a screen reconfigures the hard wiring of your brain.  

How many of you have been in the middle of a conversation when the other person’s phone rings?  Instantly, you wonder what's going to happen.  There’s the moment of truth....will they answer it, or won’t they.  You’re about to find out how you rank in that other person’s world, aren’t you?  If you answer (I realize there are emergencies), congratulations!  You’re average.  Again, that’s your choice.  You may have both character and maturity, but the signal you send MAY be interpreted differently.  The message you send may say “I’m average and immature, and I have no self- control.  Want to buy some of my stuff?

Why?  Because our actions in public are a reflection of our habits behind closed doors.  In fact, private decisions always go public.  Based on my purchases, you know what kind of car I thought about buying....house, shoes....the wife I thought about marrying.  The visible is always a picture of the invisible.

If you’re only 50 pounds overweight....Congratulations!  If you spend inordinate amounts of time on FB....Congrats!  If you take your spiritual life or leadership lightly....Congratulations!- you’re average.

Speaking of statistics, 84 percent of people surveyed in a new TIme Mobility Poll said they couldn’t go a single day without their mobile device in hand.

One in four people check their phones every thirty minutes, while one in five check every ten.

Time Magazine’s Deputy Managing Editor, Nancy Gibbs, wrote: “It’s hard to think of any tool, any instrument, any object in history with which so many developed so close a relationship so quickly as we have with our cell phones.”

The same article shared this great quote: “Thumbs are stronger, attention shorter, temptation everywhere.  We can always be mentally, digitally, some place other than where we are.”

If you don’t have anything better to do than play Candy Crush Saga or Angry Birds, while people’s eternal destinies are hanging in the balance, perhaps it’s time for a change.

If you’re sexting with someone other than your spouse and thinking it’s not going to have long term consequences, think again.

If you take your cellphone to bed with you, don’t be surprised if you end up exhausted or dead of a heart attack or stroke before 50.

The following story illustrates why this issue is so critical in our homes and families.  Years ago, I bought a new guitar.  Although I had a new one, my 6 year old son noticed I continued to play with my old guitar.  One day he observed, “Dad, you don’t like your new guitar, do you?”  I was shocked!  How did he know?  “How did you know?” I asked him.  “Easy,” he said, “you never play with it.”  (Out of the mouths of babes and infants).

Friends, what if our kids have gotten to the point where they believe we don’t love them because we never play with them? 

What if our spouses believe our media is more alluring to us than they are?

Conversely, what would happen if we exercised self- control and discipline in all areas of our lives?  I know, you’re Spirit-led except when it comes to using your cell phone.  I wonder if Jesus was alluding to the numb, half-lived existences people are experiencing today when he said: “I came so they might have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of?”  John 10:10 (The Message).

You’ve seen the cartoon.  A man is standing at the gates of heaven and St. Peter says: “You had such a wonderful life....the problem is you spent it staring at your cellphone!”  Friends, the kingdom deserves better than that.  Jesus deserves better than that.  Our friends and loved ones deserve better than that.  Lets stop acting like a bunch of dummies when it comes to using our cellphones!  Are you with me? 

How Do I Overcome F.O.M.O?

by Cory MacNeil

F.O.M.O is a common disease today.  The crux of the matter is there is so much going on in the world that we can't possibly keep up with it.  People are making new posts, new inventions are being announced, there's now a better way of doing things than yesterday....It leaves us with F.O.M.O (Fear of Missing Out).  Did anyone like my post?  Did anyone text me about going out for coffee this afternoon?  You get the idea.  The easy stage of F.O.M.O is the diagnosis, the difficult part is treatment.

A common form of F.O.M.O takes place on Facebook.  You find yourself checking out the site despite the fact that it always leaves you feeling numb.  Why?  The problem is that people on FB tend to put their best foot forward.  If you're not careful, you'll find yourself comparing your average day to other people's highlight reels.  And rest assured people will post about the smallest highlight.  They'll show you a picture of their gourmet lunch, their weight loss graphs, the receiving of their honorary degree and their acceptance at Harvard.

If you struggle with F.O.M.O, it's quite possible that you are trying to keep up with others.  Degrees are wonderful and so are blessings as well as honors and weight loss.  Kudos to you if you've posted about any of these things.  But if the success of others is causing you grief, chances are there's a lack of contentedness in your own life.  If this makes you backup for a minute, that's o.k.  If it makes you hot under the collar, get over it.  Instead of trying to keep up with others (impossible in some cases) you want to GROW, and anytime you attempt to do so, there will be growing pains.  So grow up.

Ask yourself why you're dissatisfied with your own reel.  Maybe it's time you unplug from the media stream for awhile or make a rule for yourself about constantly checking for updates.  Turn off the notification noises on your phone.  Read a good book anytime you get the urge to surf.  Take a walk.  Reflect.  Write a letter.  Call a friend (I like that one but it's amazing how little we optimize it with the advent of texting).  Instead of copying the reels of others, recognize the intense beauty and uniqueness of your own.  When you cherish the intimate moments in your own life (your child attempting to catch raindrops under the eaves while waiting for the bus) you begin to build a treasury archive that is a limited edition for you and you alone.  Post all of your highlights and you'll be left with nothing of your own to relish.  Rather than being dissatisfied, choose today to bask in your own contentedness.

If none of these things work, there's something else you can do.  Celebrate with others who are celebrating!  That's right, it's counter intuitive.  You don't have to flatter people....that's not right either, but you can rally with people who have something to really celebrate.  Someone has said, never have so many lives so little lived, been so highly recorded.  That may be true.  But some people really have something to be happy about.  

Looking for a change?  Rather than posting every highlight of your own, post sparingly about yourself.  Instead, go about affirming others.  Make encouraging comments.  Use exclamation points!  Add value to their lives.  Be a Facebook pastor (encourager).  But don't be a cop either.  Many times, LOVE keeps it's mouth shut and prays.  Affirm the positive and disregard the mess.  Don't you just love it when someone notices every little thing you do or say that's wrong?  Let's face it, despite all of the negative things that have come along with media, there are some wonderful aspects.  Make the transformation from a critic to one who inspires. 

It's fine if you hate FB.  Join the crowd, many do.  But it's still a wonderful way to monitor what's going on in the lives of the people you care about.  And it's a wonderful way to bless others we don't see on an ordinary basis.

Posting valuable content and only receiving a couple likes while watching a "shallow" post garner 150 likes is only frustrating if you allow it to be.  (Tweetable).

If you're like most, you're not only afraid of missing out on new info, you're afraid of missing out on the wave of popularity others are riding.  Nobody likes to eat dust.  Most people like instant success and popularity, but the problem is IT doesn't work that way.  Begin adding value to the lives of others (especially the obscure and unloved) and this can change, but it doesn't happen overnight.  In the meantime, you have to believe that what you're doing is noble and worthy of your time.  Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning.  The problem is some nights last for months and years and many aren't willing to wait that long.  Are you with me?

But the artist creates, regardless of recognition or positive feedback.  They don't demand rewards from the Law of Reciprocity for every little bit of value they add to the lives of others.  The artist is happy with little or no reward if only he has the opportunity to exercise his craft.  

So, the good news about F.O.M.O is that it's curable.  Rather than falling victim to it, celebrate not only your own journey, but the journey of others.  You be the cheerleader of others regardless of any return and you might just experience something greater than a like or two.  

How Long Should You Hold On?
by Cory MacNeil

Weeds!  Nobody likes them, but a lot of people tolerate them indefinetly.  It's just easier than buying some weed killer and taking the time to apply it.  Let's face it, WORK is a four letter word these days!  The problem is the presence of something unhealthy takes up the space of something healthy.  Get rid of the weed and a blade of grass can grow.  Today, you'll learn how to recognize when it's time to make a difficult change and how to go about doing it.

There are people who are aware of this principle and how it applies to their life.  Rather than allowing things to persist in an unhealthy state, they take action and get rid of the things between them and their preferred future.  Sometimes the things they get rid of can even be healthy.  It's not that good is a bad thing, good's just good.  But why stay with good if you can replace it with better?

Unhealthy people do just the opposite.  They may pull a weed or two in their life that is unpainful, but cringe at the thought of hurting someone elses feelings or being misunderstood.

A principle in the bible, no the other hand has better advice.  "A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it" according to Solomon in Proverbs 22:3.  And by the way, he was said to be one of the wisest men who ever lived.

When most people think about creating boundaries in their lives they believe it involves cutting ties with MGR's (Much Grace Required ) people.  If you do that, you may end up divorced and bereft of all friends and relatives.  After all, relationships can be hard work!  Rather than 'cutting bait' you'd do better to evaluate the relationship and determine if it's reparable or beyond repair.  Sometimes the  only way to find out is to get busy trying to fix it.  If you determine it's beyond repair, then you have to dump it.  Sounds harsh right?  The problem is that if you don't, it will come back to haunt you at the least opportune time!

For example, you don't replace a bald tire on your car.  It will hold up perfectly fine until you're on the way to your job interview.

Or, you don't pull the bad tooth.  Again, it doesn't break on Monday morning when the Dentist is open, it fractures at 6:00 p.m on Friday and you have to suffer all weekend.

Or, you have a heart attack the night before your daughter's wedding after decades of putting off physical exercise and a healthy diet.

So how do you know when it's time for a healthy ending?  After working on something and finding out it's unfixable,  you have to decide if the job, relationship, habit, hobby, situation, addiction is taking you in the right direction of your preferred future.  The choice to hang on when all other signs, evidence and experience dictates otherwise is just plain crazy!  Here are some weeds and possible ways of responding to them.

Not giving an alcoholic spouse an ultimatum is crazy!  Look, I love you, but I can't live this way.  I'm moving in with my sister until you get some help.  I don't want our children exposed to this any more.

Allowing someone to put you down after repeatedly asking them not to, is crazy!  Please don't call me anymore.  I appreciate our friendship, but I don't appreciate being the butt of all your jokes.  I've asked you in the past, so lets just take a break until you decide to make a change.

Lying for your co-worker for the four hundred and ninetieth time because you want to keep them happy is crazy! (Tweetable) Joe, the boss was looking for you again yesterday afternoon while you stepped out for two hours and I found myself making up another story.  As you know, this goes totally against everything I stand for and I can't do it any longer.

How do you know when something isn't quite right.  You'll know!  Listen to warnings and nudges from your inside in the form of inner dialogue.  You'll hear things like:

Something's not quite right here.

I feel like this happened before and I don't want it to happen again.

I told myself I'd never do this again, what am I doing here?

I'm going to regret this tomorrow.

This feels just like last time.

You get the idea....

There is no end to the hells you'll put yourself through if you are unwilling to take responsibility and control for your life.  

Too often, people 'put up' with nonsense when they could be making the changes that will take them forward.  Using Poison Ivy as toilet paper once happens, but why make the same mistake twice?  Is it time to hit the stop button on something in particular in your life that is unhealthy, maybe even good, that is taking up space for something that is healthy and life giving?  Pull the weeds, and plant a seed.

May you be blessed beyond measure today.  May you have the courage to cut the bait or make a change that's going to help you get healthier....socially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.  May God bless your small decisions and multiply your joy and sensitivity to Him.  May you share this principle with your friends and loved ones.

#38- The Point Is?
by Cory MacNeil

All I remember is one minute there was a man standing over a wagon hitch and the next minute he had dropped the hitch on his foot!!!!!

They brought the man into my Grandmother's house and took his shoe off.  There was lots of blood.  He sat in the chair my Great Grandmother always sat in when I tied her shoes for her.

What ever happened to the man, I'll never know.  I vaguely recollect someone saying he died an early death which isn't very surprising considering his previous track record.

I'm 100 percent positive this story happened, but I have no physical proof.  I'm sure it wasn't a dream, but again, I'm not 100 percent sure how I know that I'm 100 percent sure.

How about you?  Do you have any recollections like this?

I assure you I had no particular bible story in mind when telling this story.  It's just a story that I've  replayed in my mind for years and I just wanted to get it off my chest.  Funny how the mind and memory works isn't it?  

What are your thoughts?  Happy Friday, I'd love to hear from you.

The point of this post?  My motivation for writing it?  Fun!

Today, may you write a poem with your words and actions.  May you take time to wrestle with your mystery and history until the break of dawn.  May you get the world moving in a new direction.  May you love better than you did yesterday.  Be blessed!

#37- Change Your Playlist and Change Your Life
by Cory MacNeil

It's been a good morning.  The birds are singing.  The run is done.  Devotions were great.  There's a trajectory.  But things weren't always that way.  They mostly, never are.  Otherwise there'd be no growth....no development.

How about you?  Are you growing?  Are you chasing your dreams or still warming up?  Are you more loving than you were a year ago?  More patient?  Joyful?  At peace?  Maybe it's time to change some tapes.

If you're like a lot of people, you find yourself listening to the same old tapes all of the time.  There is the tape that tells you there is not enough time.  Maybe there's a tape that tells you it's too late.  There's the tape about the divorce.  The tape about your unloving father or your alcoholic mother.  The tape that life is a drag or survival of the fittest.  Right?

Why don't you change the tapes?  If you spend more time watching T.V, than reading the bible, you should change the tapes.  You wouldn't pump raw sewage into your basement, so why are you allowing your soul to be flooded with input that only discourages and depresses.  Maybe it's time to get the smell of couch potato off of you and go take a run or a walk.  Reconnect with a friend who fills your tank.  Lift some weights.  Rake a neighbor's lawn.  A rut is just a grave with both ends kicked out.

I know, you're spiritual.  I know you are probably doing the best with what you have.  I know you're a good mom.  But I also know that like most humans you need a little prodding sometimes.

Are the tapes you're listening to, helping you to move in the direction of your preferred destination or are they taking you further away?  Will your diet allow you to watch your kids graduate or will it lead to an early grave?  People who live dangerously and reckless lives are often shunned, while others are ignored while they slowly but surely kill themselves one Twinkie at a time.  (Isn't it funny now Hostess products always take the hit for junk food).  If you don't think Jesus has anything to say about this, think again...or Paul....or Peter.  Your body is your temple.

Too often, salvation and eternal life are viewed as Fire Insurance and not a way of living.  Yes, Heaven is going to be a wonderful place, but what about NOW?!  What are you being saved from now?  Is your marriage the pits or is it being rescued from sliding over the cliff?  What about your neighbor?  You do know her name, right?  And her hobbies?

Jesus was quoted as being about his father's business.  Which begs the question what is his business? You may be wondering what the family business is all about.  Good question.  Let's flesh that out a bit.

"My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves." 1 John 3:18-20.  The Message

(I underlined the section in the verse because it ties in with the idea of changing the tapes.)

The only way to rise to the top of a family business that makes any sense at all is to start on the ground level.  That by the way is very Tweetable!  You start with basic responsibilities and advance as you master the small things.  That probably reminds you of another scripture or two.  The reason, unsuccessful people never master the immensities of life is because they promote themselves too quickly without mastering the basics.  Love is one aspect they never master from top to bottom.  And in our Family Business as believers, love MUST be mastered from top to bottom.  Very often, people are placed on a pedestal because of their ability to earn, but it's not very often when people are scored on their ability to love.  Do you want your children to be successful financially or are you more concerned with how well they treat God and others?

So what tapes do you need to change today?  If you already have friends, maybe it's time to start meeting with some mentors.  Is there anything on your hard drive that needs to be replaced?  Your bookshelf?  I realize you're probably doing the best with what you have right now, but if what you have is taking you in the opposite direction of your preferred destination, then it needs to go!  Today.  Period.

1)  Why don't you do something practical and make up a quick playlist on your iPhone of songs that inspire you to run your course?  Add an encouraging sermon or podcast while your at it.

2)  Now time the length of your playlist so that as you get ready in the morning it ends when it's time to head out the door.  Chances are a normally mundane part of your day will start to be enjoyable. Make the playlist 30 minutes long or so and you have something to play in the afternoon if you need a time to renew or divert.   It's better than Facebook and won't leave you half as blue.

And now for the benediction.  May you have the courage to evaluate your life and dispose of harmful habits and routines.  May you be filled with and experience the joy that comes when you put the rights of others before your own rights.  May you find the energy to throw the football on the front lawn with your son before the bus comes.  May you be conformed to the image of the Son.  May you be BLESSED!