by Cory MacNeil
My Grandfather couldn't swim a lick to save his life! However, I remember him leading me across a train bridge over water late at night to go fishing! As you can imagine, it's scary enough to step from tie to tie in daylight, let alone at night with fishing gear and a flashlight. To this day, I don't know what he was thinking, but I do know this: communication can be scary!
Let me explain. You may not think so, but expressing ideas, thoughts, dreams, visions and feelings is just as scary for some people as crossing a railroad bridge late at night. It wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't been so hurt in the past. At one point or another, they shared with someone and the other person neglected them or failed to listen. Maybe they even gave it another shot, but had the same results. You get the idea.
Now put a bunch of those people in the same room (almost everybody) and you've got an idea why team communication can be so difficult. In some cases, the bridges aren't just rickety, they're non-existent! As someone once said, "that's not a bridge, it's Termites holding hands!". No wonder there's so much fear and frustration in our personal relationships and the organizations we're involved in. Add a leader to the mix who has poor self esteem to begin with and the problem only escalates.
One thing you can do to ensure excellent communication in your personal relationships and organization is create a culture that accepts and encourages diversity. That means our conversations and meetings should provide a safe zone, not a war zone. Yes, we will disagree. Yes, we often have silly ideas. Yes, we will be misunderstood. And yes, sometimes our meetings will be a flop. But until you begin to invite honest feedback and input in your conversations, you're not going to grow. Feedback is your friend.
For example, what would happen if you asked your spouse to share their heart with you on any given topic? If you were to ask them, would they say they can talk to you about ANYTHING? Or have they given up on having a heart to heart with you because you flew off the handle when they informed you of a late fee yesterday on your Visa bill? How about the organization you lead? Do your people have an open invitation to come and talk with you when they disagree with you or are they afraid because you justified your actions last time they did and failed to take into consideration what they were saying?
An amazing thing happens when you open yourself up to what other people have to say.
Ordinary conversations become extraordinary.
People begin to open up and blossom.
Creativity soars.
And, your blood pressure goes down.
If your personal relationships are struggling to grow and your organization is stalled, why not take the time to create a new culture where honesty and feedback are rewarded and not punished? Take a cue from the indian tribes who pass a stick to the person who is talking and require everyone to listen while the person with the stick is sharing.
Looking back now, I still think my Grandfather was CRAZY for taking a young pre-teen across a train bridge on a dark night. I don't know what we would have done if we'd taken one wrong step or looked up to see a bright light chugging our way. But I do know this. I want the bridge for communication between myself and others to be well constructed and safe. I don't want it to be a place where tragedy might occur, I want it to be a place of transformation!
The stick's in your hands now, PLEASE feel free to comment below!
No comments:
Post a Comment