Make Art, Not War

How Do I Love When I Don't Feel Like it?
by Cory MacNeil

Most of us have believe that love feels great.  You know, the way you feel when you read the words in a Hallmark card.  The  cards show us  pictures of cupids shooting arrows into people's hearts.  The victims live happily ever after.  But lets face it, love doesn't always feel good!  In fact, sometimes it feels a lot like an arrow in the heart.  Country artists make a fortune singing about relational scars.  The tabloids at the check out feature people who failed to love well. The truth is, some of you are at wits end right now in some of your relationships.  The problem is, loving is easy, until there are actual people involved!  So, what is the solution?

Maybe you've tried to feel good about someone and it just didn't work.  Try as you might, the ugly feelings just wouldn't go away.  In fact, you felt worse, because guilt kicked in.  We're so good at criticizing ourselves.  We say things to ourselves like: "I'm just not a good Christian".  Or, "I'm a terrible pastor, or spouse, or daughter".  You get the idea.  

The problem with guilt is....it leaves you feeling guilty.  Right when we're supposed to be loving others, our sight turns inward.  Sometimes we feel helpless.  The last thing you want to do while feeling helpless, is love someone with all your might.  Guilt also tells us to overcompensate.  It makes sense to take the kids to Disney to make up for all the missed ball games and daddy dates throughout the year.

Jesus never meant love to be so complicated.  Few places in scripture  tell us how Jesus felt around difficult people.  What we do have are records of how he acted and behaved.  We too, are leaving a record for the public as well as our loved ones.  The question is, what kind of videos are we leaving?  Are we known  as someone who loves well?

Instead of examining our own feelings, what if  we took our eyes off of ourselves.  Why not focus on the needs of others?  After all, our feelings deceive us, right?  We've all  had those days when we FEEL like we're dying, when in fact we're healthy. We've all felt insignificant, when in fact we are helping many people.  You get the idea. 

When we take loving actions, sometimes the feelings will follow...sometimes, not always.  Feelings are never to take the place of real love.  We love our wives, whether we feel like it or not.  We work and provide for our families whether we feel like it or not.  We take care of our bodies, especially when we don't feel like it.  If  you wait for loving feelings, you may be waiting a loooooooong time!

What if you decided to just obey God's command to love Him and others.  That kind of obedience brings a blessing.  It's not a matter of how you feel, it's a matter of taking action!  Love takes out the garbage.  Love does the dishes.  Love listens.  Love turns the other cheek.  Love goes the extra mile.  Love blesses those who persecute her.  Love takes an active interest in the lives of others, especially those most unloveable.  Love is a verb.  

This is the mature love the Apostle Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13.  He teaches us that love is supreme.  Gene Getz put it this way, "Love is the capstone for faith, because love believes all things.  It is also the capstone for hope, because "love hopes all things".  Love is the greatest, because it "never fails" (The Measure of a Man, 2004, pg. 51).

There was a man named John in the New Testament who learned how to love.   The son of a wealthy fisherman, John left his nets to follow Jesus.  The bible tells us John was an angry man. He and his brother were the 'sons of thunder'.  

John also wanted power.  His mother made a special request of Jesus.  She wanted him to give her sons prominent places of honor in Jesus' kingdom.  She wanted them to be his left and right hand men.  To make matters worse, she voiced her petition in public.  Still,  Jesus had a special love for John despite  John's faults!  You or I would have unfriended  John, but Jesus took pains to lead and teach John.   

Because of the love Jesus showered upon John, John went on to write The Gospel of John.  He also penned first, second, and third John as well as The book of Revelation.  How was this all possible, you may ask?  The answer is simple.  Love.

John learned how to love by being the direct recipient of love.  And not only just any kind of love, but the love of the master!  John chose to love others after experiencing the life changing love of Christ.   A man who longed for power, prestige and peace found all these things.  But he found them by going around the barn.  He found them when he discovered his position in Jesus.  He learned God really loved him despite his weaknesses and lack of social graces.    

He later wrote: "These things have I written into you that believe on the name of the Son of God:  that ye may know that he have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God". (1 John 5:13).  Wow!  What better way to say 'I love you.'  

John loved us so much, 

he left us these beautiful words 

to remind us how much God loves us!  

Loving God and others isn't measured by the depth of our warm fuzzy feelings.  Yes, feelings can be wonderful, but they're not always trustworthy.  True love trusts God's command to love him and others despite our feelings.  Even when it doesn't feel good.

One Opportunity You Don't Want to Miss
by Cory MacNeil

As a pastor, I'm always looking to take things to the next level.  The looming question is, "what can I do to improve this situation, relationship, infrastructure, etc?  The problem is it's so easy to get caught up in progress that we fail to do one important thing.

The fact you are reading this post indicates your interest in getting the most out of life.  But when is the last time you took time to celebrate your accomplishments?  What happens is that things in motion, have a tendency to stay in motion.  While you're busy getting slimmer, wiser, savy, and more spiritual, don't miss the plot.  Take the opportunity to reflect and appreciate your hard work.

"All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy."
"All work and no play, makes Jill a dull girl."

Rainy days can be an overachiever's worst enemy or their best friend.  Why?  Because they derail progress for the day (or can).  Or, you can use them to do something you ordinarily wouldn't.

Last night I went to bed an hour early.  This morning I got up an hour late and drove the length of Lake George.  I bought a cup of coffee from Stewarts.  Once home, I walked barefoot in the yard on the wet grass.  I talked with my one remaining chicken for a few minutes.  Her name is Peaches, in case you were wondering.  I put out the recycling and trash cans.  I stood back and looked at my half- painted house from a distance.  I caught up on social media and email.  And now I'm taking a few minutes to write.

So when is the last time you ditched your routine for awhile and smelled the coffee?  It may sound ironic, but sometimes less is more.  Less sawing and a little sharpening makes for more cut wood.  It's SO easy to keep hacking with a dull ax when it only takes a little bit of time to resharpen and refocus.  This principle applies to all areas of life, not just wood chopping.

A few moments or hours of reflection can take you farther than a years worth of work.

During your downtime, you can watch your children play- study their motions, watch them swim.

Reread a small piece of your manuscript and make a few corrections.

Watch the wind make the flowers, grass and trees in your yard dance.

Study some ants on your sidewalk for twenty minutes.

Walk your yard and check out the details.

Write a poem.

Pen a love letter to your spouse.

There is a difference between working for a living and living for work.  Work is wonderful, I don't know where I'd be without it. But it's also wonderful to stand back and appreciate our work and be thankful.

How about you?  I know you work hard, and I know you want to keep moving forward.  But you exist to do more than work.  If it's been awhile since you took sometime to reflect, what better time to start than TODAY!  Better yet carve out some time in your daily routine to rest and refuel.

How To Have Your Best Vacation Yet!

by Cory MacNeil

You've worked hard all year, and now it's time to take a break....the question is, what makes a great vacation?  After all, you only have a limited amount of time and you want to make the most of it.  We're glad you asked!  Taking a vacation doesn't have to be difficult.  A vacation can be an amazing part of your year....a time to recharge and make great memories with friends and loved ones.

The problem is, the human experience doesn't go away just because you have a week's worth of free time.  Let me explain.  Just because you have a week off, it doesn't mean your marriage is going to improve if it's been on the rocks awhile.  This applies to every area, including personal debt, health, spirituality, fitness, etc.  It's great, that you have a week off, but if you've let the chickens out during the last year, be sure they're going to come home and roost!

Maybe by now, you're not so excited about your upcoming vacation because there are issues you'll have to deal with.  Relax, there's hope.  You can still have a great vacation.  In fact, it can still be your best vacation yet.  Here are some tips to help.  But first, a bit of wisdom.

"Go to the ant, you slacker!  Observe its ways and become wise.  Without leader, administrator, or ruler, it prepares its provisions in summer; it gathers its food during harvest."  Before you get all out of sorts about the slacker bit, think about what the writer in Proverbs 6:6-8 is saying.  Although you lack wisdom, it's yours for the taking if you'll take time to take ONE small step.

If you're thinking about stopping for an extended period of time, it MAY do you some good to stop beforehand.  Look before you leap.  Huge change doesn't happen over night, it's a result of lots of baby steps.  Ants are tiny, but they are able to do great works over a period of time, by carrying out small, simple tasks on a daily basis.  By the way, a slacker is someone who avoids pain.  We all get that.  Most people prefer comfort and pleasure.  Let's be honest.  Those aren't bad things.   Beware: don't  allow yourself to gravitate toward ease and the path of least resistance.  It's easy to stop doing difficult things that will improve not only the quality of your own life, but the life of others.

If you're planning on having a great vacation, the first step you might take is to make a plan.  A failure to plan is a plan to fail.  Sit down with a cup of coffee, some paper and a pen.  (Yes, paper!).  There's just something about writing things down.  Now, write down 5 or 10 things you'd like to do on your vacation.  If you're planning on a stay- cation, still take the time to make a list.  The weakest ink is stronger than the strongest memory.

Believe it or not, a lack of finances doesn't have to be an issue.  You're not taking a break to spend money, you're taking a vacation to spend TIME.  You can have just as much fun at the local public beach as you can in California.  Your wish list might include visiting an old friend.  Do some gardening, complete an unfinished product, meet with a spiritual mentor, etc.  Write down whatever comes to mind, you can always edit later.  The list doesn't mean that you have to do everything on it.  At this point, you are brainstorming.

If you've decided to work on one of the issues that surfaced earlier in this post, write it down!  You don't have to stress and work on it for your entire vacation, but you can take an ant step.  For instance, if it's personal debt, plan on taking a book out from the library that will educate you.  Plan to meet with someone who seems to have their financial act together, over coffee.  Balance your checkbook.  Look at your bills and identify needs and luxuries.  You get the idea.

The key is balance!  Too much of a good thing can be a not so good thing and this includes vacations.  Scrap your fitness routine for a week and you'll see what I mean.  Sleep in every day until noon and you'll understand.  Go on a drinking binge and eat fast food every meal....Ignore your relationships.  You get the idea.  Disrupting a routine you've worked hard to establish will derail your growth and progress.

Congratulations!  If you're about to take a break, you have a wonderful opportunity to experience your best vacation yet!  Hot dogs on the grill with some good friends can be just as wonderful- if not more- than an extravagant meal at an expensive restaurant.  Besides, that kind of meal won't take you ten years to pay off!