#36- Ghost Post
by Cory MacNeil
It's three thirty a.m and I'm sitting in the parking lot of Grace Fellowship Church in Latham, waiting to pick my oldest daughter up from a field trip to Pennsylvania. Most of the other cars have their lights off. A couple have parking lights on (presumably new car owners who don't want to incur dents or a full on collision). A few are texting. One lady has her interior lights on (probably reading my blog....or not. Ooops! The bus just arrived. Be back in a few.
I've decided to write this morning, because I believe I'm experiencing something holy. This morning I'm part of a group in process. Many times, life seems circular and repetitive. Today it feels linear....like this is all going somewhere. It's not that it's not going forward all the time, it just doesn't feel that way sometimes. Sometimes it's just plain hard.
The moment the bus pulls in is always a joy! You get out of the car and walk through the dark toward the light and YOUR amazing person walks back into your life. It's like you're meeting them again for the first time. You realize you don't know who was driving the bus and they could have ran the thing off the road and killed everyone. You can't wait to hear her story.
The story is not all that long, but AMAZING! She shares it in bits and pieces. "Philadelphia was really cool!" At Sights and Sounds Theatre, while watching the Joseph story from the bible, "they lifted him up above the stage during the dream parts by wire". O.k, not long stories, but pretty incredible coming from a teenager who normally has to be prodded.
In the car you talk and ride through the darkness. Everything bright and beautiful is punctuated in the darkness. She falls asleep in the passenger seat after a twenty four hour day. It feels amazing to be of service in a special way. As a bonus, there are a couple of deer mulling around on a lawn in the middle of the city- someplace you'd normally never see them in the daylight hours.
A car goes whizzing by very fast. What? A lone soul is walking the streets. Are they heavy hearted? Working toward a dream? Sad? ______________?
On the highway a car goes by doing about ninety miles per hour. Is this an epidemic? What's the hurry? You roll down the window, but rather than shouting profanities, you listen to birdsong.
You decide to get off the highway and take the slow way home. You decide to drive past your first apartment and your first home. What a blessing to be able to revisit two such important mile markers on Memory Lane.
As you pull off the highway, the firmament (fancy name for sky from the bible in Genesis chapter 1) is amazing like Philadelphia. You decide it would make a great scene in the movie you've been wanting to make. It's Charles Dickensian behind the stark outlines of the new Schenectady Community College Dorms, if that's a word. If not, who cares?
Pretty soon it will be 7:00 in the morning- your routine wake up time. Pretty soon it will be time to rerise, put the coffee on and lace up your running shoes. Part of you thinks about ditching the routine for the day, given your mid night excursion, but you decide not to.
You decide to run because lately you feel amazing. You run because you're more alive then you've ever been. You run because everything is going in the right direction and it feels good to battle the oncoming traffic of life. For the first time in a long time you have PEACE. For the first time in a long time something tells you everything is going to be more than fine. For the first time in a long time you're not wondering if you're going to get a flat tire today or die of a stroke at 50.
We pull into the drive way and park. I tell my daughter WE'RE HOME. She forgoes a bowl of cereal before crashing.
Today, may you find joy in ordinary occurrences. May you inflate your routine with something wonderful and sugary to your soul. May you take time to reflect and renew. May you rerise a thousand times today. May you be a blessing to someone who least deserves it. May you have a ....GOOD MORNING!
#35- What Drives Habits?
by Cory MacNeil
I'll never forget my life coach's reaction as I sat across from him in his office. I was in the middle of making an excuse for my lack of performance in an area we'd talked about, when he put his hand up. I stopped speaking and he made me realize what I was doing. Why? He knew that if I stayed on my current path, I'd keep getting the same results.
Habits can be our enemies or our friends. For most people, the word habit suggests something bad. Either way, your current habits are giving you the results they're designed to give. If you are looking for better results, you need better habits. There are no shortcuts.
Fortunately, small changes in your habits can lead to dramatic results.
The first step is to identify your cravings or motivations. Why do you need to walk to the corner store to buy chocolate every afternoon on your break? Is it possible that you are using chocolate to feel better? Maybe you aren't in the position to change careers at the moment, but you could call or text a friend or relative- did you catch that? As if relatives aren't friends. Who wants to be a millionaire?- making a purchase that only provides temporary satisfaction and long term guilt.
Phone a friend. Phone your spouse. Get an accountability partner. Take a walk- minus chocolate. Listen to a motivational audio book or some soul lifting music.
An Olympian once said: "Poetry, music, forest, oceans, solitude- they are what develop enormous emotional strength. I came to realize that spirit, as much or more than physical conditioning, had to be stored up before a race." -Anonymous. Did you catch that? Spirit and energy are resources that can be stored up?
Success as the world defines it today is based on what's happening on the outside. You can fix up the outside all you want, but the question remains: how often do you focus on renovating your inner life?
It's been said it's not a question of what you're eating, but what's eating you. Again, the first question to ask is why am I doing this? This can actually be not only very disheartening, but very freeing. That question can also take you on a wild goose chase if you entertain indefinetly- peel one layer of the onion and there are more below it.
At the end of the day, your cravings drive your habit. For example, some people repeatedly spend more money than they have because they crave status. Some people eat to "feel good". Some people habitually put others down, to make themselves feel and look better. Some people work incredibly long hours and neglect their family and end up losing everything they worked for. Why? Cravings.
A better question is: what am I going to do achieve my goals? Doing is an action that can be measured. Sit-ups can be counted. Accountability software for your computer is tangible, etc. While you're at it, visualize the steps you need to take. Imagine yourself walking around your neighborhood after work and imagine how good it will feel, knowing you are working towards a goal.
There are healthy and unhealthy ways to satisfy cravings.
Maybe you already have a P.O.A (plan of action:- small doable steps that add up to large results). But what you really need is a better one.
I take that back; most people have a P.O.A to reach their goals. Successful people have a plan B, unsuccessful people "wing it". You don't just need a plan for when things go smoothly....you need a plan for when things don't go as planned. So if you plan on jogging, what do you plan on doing if you have a sprained ankle? See the difference? Successful people have a plan to "power through setbacks."
So what is your plan? Maybe you're perfectly content with your current results. Congratulations!! If not, maybe it's time to start examining the results you're getting and come up with a plan to get the results you want.
Going back to what my Life Coach did....if you are unhappy with the results you're getting, but intend to keep on doing the same thing over and over again- STOP!!! If you want to change your life, you have to change your habits.
by Cory MacNeil
I'll never forget my life coach's reaction as I sat across from him in his office. I was in the middle of making an excuse for my lack of performance in an area we'd talked about, when he put his hand up. I stopped speaking and he made me realize what I was doing. Why? He knew that if I stayed on my current path, I'd keep getting the same results.
Habits can be our enemies or our friends. For most people, the word habit suggests something bad. Either way, your current habits are giving you the results they're designed to give. If you are looking for better results, you need better habits. There are no shortcuts.
Fortunately, small changes in your habits can lead to dramatic results.
The first step is to identify your cravings or motivations. Why do you need to walk to the corner store to buy chocolate every afternoon on your break? Is it possible that you are using chocolate to feel better? Maybe you aren't in the position to change careers at the moment, but you could call or text a friend or relative- did you catch that? As if relatives aren't friends. Who wants to be a millionaire?- making a purchase that only provides temporary satisfaction and long term guilt.
Phone a friend. Phone your spouse. Get an accountability partner. Take a walk- minus chocolate. Listen to a motivational audio book or some soul lifting music.
An Olympian once said: "Poetry, music, forest, oceans, solitude- they are what develop enormous emotional strength. I came to realize that spirit, as much or more than physical conditioning, had to be stored up before a race." -Anonymous. Did you catch that? Spirit and energy are resources that can be stored up?
Success as the world defines it today is based on what's happening on the outside. You can fix up the outside all you want, but the question remains: how often do you focus on renovating your inner life?
It's been said it's not a question of what you're eating, but what's eating you. Again, the first question to ask is why am I doing this? This can actually be not only very disheartening, but very freeing. That question can also take you on a wild goose chase if you entertain indefinetly- peel one layer of the onion and there are more below it.
At the end of the day, your cravings drive your habit. For example, some people repeatedly spend more money than they have because they crave status. Some people eat to "feel good". Some people habitually put others down, to make themselves feel and look better. Some people work incredibly long hours and neglect their family and end up losing everything they worked for. Why? Cravings.
A better question is: what am I going to do achieve my goals? Doing is an action that can be measured. Sit-ups can be counted. Accountability software for your computer is tangible, etc. While you're at it, visualize the steps you need to take. Imagine yourself walking around your neighborhood after work and imagine how good it will feel, knowing you are working towards a goal.
There are healthy and unhealthy ways to satisfy cravings.
Maybe you already have a P.O.A (plan of action:- small doable steps that add up to large results). But what you really need is a better one.
I take that back; most people have a P.O.A to reach their goals. Successful people have a plan B, unsuccessful people "wing it". You don't just need a plan for when things go smoothly....you need a plan for when things don't go as planned. So if you plan on jogging, what do you plan on doing if you have a sprained ankle? See the difference? Successful people have a plan to "power through setbacks."
So what is your plan? Maybe you're perfectly content with your current results. Congratulations!! If not, maybe it's time to start examining the results you're getting and come up with a plan to get the results you want.
Going back to what my Life Coach did....if you are unhappy with the results you're getting, but intend to keep on doing the same thing over and over again- STOP!!! If you want to change your life, you have to change your habits.
#34- Building the Stairway to Your Dreams
Have you ever known anyone like my Grandfather? He was a farmer who woke up early and worked all day....almost everyday. Only towards the end of his life do I remember him taking a brief nap after lunch before resuming his labors. That kind of role model impacts you for life. In fact, as you get older you begin to ask yourself how they did it.
The answer is simple, successful people realize the power of....habits. His drive, momentum, and flow were the result of not just one, but many habits he had developed over the years. Take a look around and you’ll see people like this everywhere. Great athletes know this (investigate the daily habits of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps). Tiger Woods knows this secret. CEO’s as well as godly parents know this. Success does not come by accident, it is achieved not just by the development of one habit (though one habit can transform many as you’ll learn in a later post).
The power of habits works both ways. For instance, maybe you decide to stop for a donut on the way home from work because you need some energy. The next day you stop again. Now a month later you are ten pounds heavier and sixty dollars poorer according to your bank statement. Why? You’ve developed a new habit. Unfortunately, what seems harmless in the beginning can turn out to be dangerous.
Or maybe you decide to start walking everyday. It’s been a month now and your jeans are a little less tight. Because your jeans fit better, you started feeling better about yourself. Feeling better about yourself, you decided to stop visiting the donut bakery after work and because you stopped that habit you are now sixty dollars richer according to this month’s bank statement.
If you’re wondering what new habits are worthy of developing and which ones you need to ditch, play the video. If you stay on the path you’re on, and continue to practice your current habits, what is your destination going to be? Will you be healthier and happier five years from now? This sounds harsh, but will you even be alive? Imagine what would happen if you die because of your habit and your family is left to fend for themselves. Imagine you’re wife for instance. She is a homemaker so now that you’re dead she has no income. You’re children have no Dad to help them navigate their teenage years. You’re wife finally gets a job but it’s not enough to pay the mortgage so she has to sell the house and get an apartment in the city. You’re teenaged daughter longs for attention and starts dating a guy who is concerned with nobody but himself. You get the picture.
You're dreams aren't just going to fall into your lap. You have to chase them. Why do successful people enjoy performing mundane tasks like farming? Successful people see ordinary tasks as stepping stones to achieving the life they've always dreamed of.
The video we just watched is more than just a little unnerving. If you decide to change your habit, maybe the video will play out like this. You start walking every other day and talk with others who are trying to get healthier. Better yet you start a walking group. Five years later you attend your daughter’s graduation from college. Five years later you get to walk her down the aisle. Ten years from now you hold your first grandchild in your arms. You get the picture. No, we’re not in total control of our destiny, but we can stack the deck and be proactive.
There are three steps when it comes to forming new habits. We’ll talk about these three things more in our next posts. But for now, what is one small change you can make today that is going to take you in the direction of your dreams? While you're at it, spend some time playing the video of how this might impact your future.
#33- Are You Becoming or Doing?
by Cory MacNeil
Remember Christmas Eve as a child? You could hardly sleep in anticipation of Christmas Day. The first brother or sister to wake up would get every other child up and run and jump on Mom and Dad's bed. Finally, with a bit of coaxing and rough housing, my parents got out of bed and us kids would tear into our presents.
I'm not sure if I could lay a hand on a single Christmas gift I received as a child. Most of them ended up broken, abandoned or sold at a garage sale. But as long as I live, I'll never forget the anticipation of waking up to wonderful gifts. Isn't it ironic that as children we were so anxious over temporal gifts and as adults we are so bored with eternal gifts.
In the last post you learned about the magnetic power of your future and destiny. You learned that a bright future has the power to pull you forward. You learned that you can tie a rope to hope or drift. In the meantime, is today going to be a significant milepost in your journey or just another chalk mark on the wall of your cell? What is it about today that gives you something to look forward to?
Like most people, you probably think you have a problem. What is it....an insensitive spouse....a rebellious child....unstable or diminishing finances....failing health? Regardless of how old you are, some of these things may never change. That's the bad news. The good news is YOU can change.
Again, you may not be able to change your circumstances, but you can change your response. More than problems in your life, there are patterns. Patterns can be either your friends or your enemies. For example, when your spouse refuses to help with the dishes, you can either yell at her or go out and buy a new flat screen for your man cave. Just kidding! But you get the idea. We can resist openings to stand up for our rights or we can follow our egos like an Ox to the slaughter. Once we nail down the idea that we can resist temptation and begin to experience the joys that come with victory, things begin to change. Again, your wife may or may not start helping with the dishes, but your won't have oil under your nails and your monthly credit card bill will go down.
Put another way, imagine if you decided to build a shed in your back yard. Things are going well. You finish the foundation and begin the walls. Then, for various reasons you begin to spend increasing amounts of time, tearing down what you've built. For instance, you get mad because your son spills the bucket of nails and tear down a wall. Another day you kick a door down because your neighbor complains about all of the banging. If you're not careful, the shed will never be completed. Why? Because something that takes years to build can be torn down in a matter of minutes. This applies to marriages, character, reputation, ministries (times two!) and so on.
This principle can also be applied as follows. Great works take time. So why not start today. Begin with this question: are the patterns in my life giving me my desired results or does something in the mix have to be adjusted? The real conundrum is not what are you doing, but what are you becoming? If your desired self portrait at the end of your life is a woman surrounded by children and grandchildren who love her, are you more patient at the family gathering on Thanksgiving than you were five years ago or do you still fly off the handle when your five year old grandson spills the gravy boat?
Now, to get back to your day. I know you are not messed up, but your friends are, so the following advice may help. What should I do today is a good question. But a better question is what am I going to change today to become the person God wants me to be....that version of myself that's been alluding me for years? Another tip is to keep your eyes on God's performance rather than your own. His performance inspires, ours tires.
You may decide to begin by altering your calendar or the contact list on your cellphone. But wait a minute, before you get any ideas about axing your friends on Facebook, or quitting your job, you might consider adding a few friends or expanding your work circles. Why not kill two birds with one stone and schedule lunch with someone who is positive and successful? After all, you're not looking to downsize, you're looking to grow, right?
When you begin to look at each day as an opportunity to become all you were designed to be and not just slots to fill with activities, an amazing thing begins to happen: you begin to live and dream and not just drift. So why not program a better destination into your GPS today and begin the journey. The only other option is to leave the car in park and we both know that will get you nowhere. Besides, have you ever noticed that you can't change direction in a car unless it's moving?
by Cory MacNeil
Remember Christmas Eve as a child? You could hardly sleep in anticipation of Christmas Day. The first brother or sister to wake up would get every other child up and run and jump on Mom and Dad's bed. Finally, with a bit of coaxing and rough housing, my parents got out of bed and us kids would tear into our presents.
In the last post you learned about the magnetic power of your future and destiny. You learned that a bright future has the power to pull you forward. You learned that you can tie a rope to hope or drift. In the meantime, is today going to be a significant milepost in your journey or just another chalk mark on the wall of your cell? What is it about today that gives you something to look forward to?
Like most people, you probably think you have a problem. What is it....an insensitive spouse....a rebellious child....unstable or diminishing finances....failing health? Regardless of how old you are, some of these things may never change. That's the bad news. The good news is YOU can change.
Again, you may not be able to change your circumstances, but you can change your response. More than problems in your life, there are patterns. Patterns can be either your friends or your enemies. For example, when your spouse refuses to help with the dishes, you can either yell at her or go out and buy a new flat screen for your man cave. Just kidding! But you get the idea. We can resist openings to stand up for our rights or we can follow our egos like an Ox to the slaughter. Once we nail down the idea that we can resist temptation and begin to experience the joys that come with victory, things begin to change. Again, your wife may or may not start helping with the dishes, but your won't have oil under your nails and your monthly credit card bill will go down.
Put another way, imagine if you decided to build a shed in your back yard. Things are going well. You finish the foundation and begin the walls. Then, for various reasons you begin to spend increasing amounts of time, tearing down what you've built. For instance, you get mad because your son spills the bucket of nails and tear down a wall. Another day you kick a door down because your neighbor complains about all of the banging. If you're not careful, the shed will never be completed. Why? Because something that takes years to build can be torn down in a matter of minutes. This applies to marriages, character, reputation, ministries (times two!) and so on.
This principle can also be applied as follows. Great works take time. So why not start today. Begin with this question: are the patterns in my life giving me my desired results or does something in the mix have to be adjusted? The real conundrum is not what are you doing, but what are you becoming? If your desired self portrait at the end of your life is a woman surrounded by children and grandchildren who love her, are you more patient at the family gathering on Thanksgiving than you were five years ago or do you still fly off the handle when your five year old grandson spills the gravy boat?
Now, to get back to your day. I know you are not messed up, but your friends are, so the following advice may help. What should I do today is a good question. But a better question is what am I going to change today to become the person God wants me to be....that version of myself that's been alluding me for years? Another tip is to keep your eyes on God's performance rather than your own. His performance inspires, ours tires.
You may decide to begin by altering your calendar or the contact list on your cellphone. But wait a minute, before you get any ideas about axing your friends on Facebook, or quitting your job, you might consider adding a few friends or expanding your work circles. Why not kill two birds with one stone and schedule lunch with someone who is positive and successful? After all, you're not looking to downsize, you're looking to grow, right?
When you begin to look at each day as an opportunity to become all you were designed to be and not just slots to fill with activities, an amazing thing begins to happen: you begin to live and dream and not just drift. So why not program a better destination into your GPS today and begin the journey. The only other option is to leave the car in park and we both know that will get you nowhere. Besides, have you ever noticed that you can't change direction in a car unless it's moving?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)