#15- Unpacking 3 Gifts from Your Own Story

WIth Christmas upon us, what better time to give away another snippet of my recent book on writing.  We'll begin today where we left off while talking about back story.

"Moving along farther in the life of “Backwoods Bob” we find that in sixth grade he started fishing the Spring River rather than doing homework after school.  There he regularly caught Rainbow Trout and bought a handbook to identify different trees, animals and flowers. 

After barely getting into the local Community College he pursued a degree in Environmental Science, but was unable to finish because he lost his job painting houses during the summer of his Freshman year.  His grandfather would have helped him but he developed....you guessed it- cancer....and spent the remainder of his life savings in the Pleasant Valley Nursing home.  On top of that he met a girl named Christine Bates one day while walking down to the river.  

She had tripped over a root and her book bag opened up spilling a couple of books, one  being the same exact book Bob bought back in sixth grade.  

They went to the movies, ate pizza on Friday nights, played cards on Labor Day weekend, then....You guessed it.  She started losing weight, and energy, and the sparkle in her eye and she went to her doctor and found out she had.....

Right again, cancer.  Six months later Bob placed his copy of “The Roadside book of Ecology” in her casket before they closed it forever".

1.  Your own back story is perfectly preserved like an ant in pine resin.  You can pick at it, dissect it and rearrange it however you like.

2.  You could write a book based on your back story.  It's sure to be original and the world is waiting to hear it.

3.  A better understanding of your back story will help you determine the design of future chapters.

Back story is vitally important because it helps us to realize where people are coming from and what motivates them.  Your story without it's backstory is like a sky without stars.

We hope and pray you will find peace and joy in the New Year as you continue to make sense of your own story and write future chapters.  Merry Christmas!

#14- 3 Elements of Your Backstory

We all have a backstory.

Our backstory is the story that has led us up to this point in our lives.  This is the exciting element of meeting someone new: you get to hear their backstory.  I've chosen to take a snippet from my book on writing to help you get a better idea of how powerful backstory is.

"O.K, so lets say the main character of your story is Backwoods Bob. Where did he come from? What has led him up to this point in the story you are about to begin. Did he rob a bank in Toledo, to donate to a benevolent charity. A charity he felt passionate about but otherwise could not contribute to. Maybe a girl broke his heart and he left his job with UPS and used his savings to buy a one way ticket to Fairbanks Alaska. 

Until you’ve thought about your backstory you are not ready to write. Period. 

Bob. Backwoods Bob that is. His real name might be Robert Livingston. Well, he has a history. He has baggage. There’s a reason he lives in isolation. You can go back even further. Maybe in first grade his best friend died of cancer. Wait, not just any friend, Petey Ricker. He met Petey the first day of Kindergarten when Petey stuck up for him on the bus when Tom Tanks, the village bully, was threatening to punch Bob in the nose. Petey hit Tom Tanks over the head with his brown bag lunch and the rest is history."

So what's your backstory?  Take some time to reflect and you may be surprised.  Beautiful overtones in your story will arise when you take time to know your backstory.  Consider the fact that we all are a bundle of strengths and weaknesses and the story gets even better.

Here are three important elements of backstory.

1) Place: Nothing tells us more about a person than the places they've lived and their influences.

2) People: We're able to piece the puzzle together even more when we're introduced to the people who have impacted a character's life.

3) Poetry: Good backstory doesn't tell, it shows.  For example, instead of writing "Joe grew during those months", tell us how he grew.  For example, "Joe began spending extra time in the gym and taking frequent walks by the river after dinner."

In the days and weeks that come, I pray that you will begin to see the beauty in your own story and the lives of others.  What better time of year to go someplace quiet and think back on your amazing journey as you begin to think about the future.  

Merry Christmas!  I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on this subject.  Feel free to comment below.

#13- Love Is a Verb

Here is a snippet from my latest book taken from the introduction.  

When I was just a young boy, I used to visit my grandfather’s dairy farm in upstate New York. To this day, I’ve never encountered such a mystical place on the entire planet. It was a world unto itself and I was blessed to spend many wonderful hours roaming its magical landscape.

One winter my grandfather decided to get one of the old snowmobiles running for me to ride. I can still see him in the dim old barn pulling on the pull cord for hours and smell the ether he sprayed into the carburetor. He only had a limited amount of time in the afternoon between the morning and evening milkings and that day he spent it resurrecting the old Sno Jet.

By day’s end, the fields surrounding the barn were laced with pink ribbons in the setting sun and I was ready for some hot chocolate.

My grandfather passed away on August 11, 1995 but I’ve never forgotten the story of his love.

Speaking of stories, this book was a lot of fun to write and I hope it will be equally enjoyable to read! William Shakespeare I am not, but I truly believe this book has the potential to help you, regardless of where you are on your journey. If I could emphasize just one thing, it’s this: start today. Whether you decide to just pen some doggerel on a scrap of brown paper bag or go out and buy a fancy leather bound journal, start now. Ready-Go-Set!

I hope your heart was warmed by this story.  My grandfather's single act of love has spoken volumes to me throughout the years.  I hope it will encourage all of us to carve out and make time for 'others'.  What better time to make a difference than the holidays.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!  Stick around in 2015 and we'll help you have your best year yet.  In the meantime, stay tuned in the days to come as I release more samples from the book.  

The following sample was taken from my latest book: "Set the Hook!  5 Powerful Storytelling Secrets."

#12- 4 Ways to Find Direction

Most of us have watched the guy or gal throwing the dart over their shoulder at a map.  In fact, some of us have done that ourselves.  The options were just too many or not enough, so we decided to leave our fates to chance.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Spontaneity is not a bad thing.  We make instant decisions everyday.  We don’t have to think about what toothbrush to use or what car we’ll drive to work- unless we’re Jay Leno or Billy Joel.

In the meantime, here are 4 guidelines that will help you make more informed choices.

1. Core values and beliefs: Cast these away when making an important decision and you're in big trouble!  You’ll be hounded by a fiend called regret.  Many people can trace unhappiness back to decisions that were made years ago when they forgot about their values and beliefs “just once!”.

2. Patterns:  That’s right.  What types of things have you thought about on a regular basis over the years?  What are your dreams?  Maybe, just maybe that crazy dream you’ve had is God inspired.  That’s right.  He made you and He is capable of directing your life and inspiring you.  Maybe it’s time to re-examine that dream that you put aside years ago because all of your friends said you were crazy.

3. Habits: Similar to patterns but different.  This has more to do with your wiring.  Nobody knows you like you know yourself.  For example, why apply for a job that requires getting up at 4 a.m if you know that you HATE getting up.  Don’t deceive yourself with the idea that the money will outweigh the discomfort.  Ignore your habits or wiring and you may be in for some trouble.

4. Friends and family:  O.k, there are a couple of groups who have unique insights into your life other than yourself.  Why?  Because they’ve lived with you or known you for a long time.  Sometimes one of the best things you can do is ask someone’s opinion who is close to you.  Better yet ask a number of people who know you well.

It all boils down to character.  All characters are a bundle of strengths and weaknesses.  

The bible says: “The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.”  Proverbs 20: 7.  Remember the well- written novel you read or the movie you watched.  After awhile you got so you could predict what any given character was going to do.  Why?  Because our characteristics are the seed bed for our behaviors.  

Please feel free to share your thoughts on this topic.

#11- 3 Tools to Help You Rewrite Your Life

On June 1st  this past year I received the following text:  “Happy Birthday!  This will be your best year yet!”  Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I thought to myself.  How does he know?

Backing up some, this past year started out as business as usual.  Despite accomplishments in the past I had gravitated toward the path of least resistance.  Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about.  

That all changed when I made a friend who began coaching me back toward the mountain.  The results have been phenomenal!  Not even a year later, I’ve written four books, started a blog and platform, regained balance, increased leadership skills and maintained a high level of personal satisfaction.  Upon reflection, I can truly say it’s been my best year yet!

Recently we proclaimed from the rooftops that despite your past, you have the power to write the next chapter of your life.  I also shared with you my latest book and the potential it has to improve not only your writing but your life.  

Yes, I still want you to buy the book!  But in the meantime I wanted to share 3 tools that will help you write the best chapter yet of your life.

• The first tool on the list is a D.I.S.C test.  They can be found online for free or purchased.  Again, you usually get what you pay for.  This test has the potential to open your eyes more than you could ever imagine.  It will not only tell you how you are wired, but give you a roadmap for the future as well as an explanation of the past.  Whatever you do, make sure you team up with someone who can help you to unpack the test results.

• The second tool is outsourcing.  We all have a limited amount of time and many things      we’d like to accomplish.  When you outsource, other people work for you while you sleep or work on things that only you can do.  There are many websites to get you started.  Two of mine are Fiverr (hire a freelancer to do a particular job) and Elance.  If you've enjoyed this blog and want to investigate Elance, here is an affiliate link :https://www.elance.com/?rid=4T3ZM.  These types of sites allow you to hire virtual assistants, some with skills you don’t possess for a relatively inexpensive fee.  For example, rather than teaching yourself photoshop you save a ton of time paying someone who has mastered it.  The cover of ‘Set the Hook’ was produced by an Elance freelancer.

-The third tool is a coach!  Surprise, Surprise, I won’t apologize.  Like virtual assistants, in the words of pastor/teacher Andy Stanley: “A mentor will help you go further, faster!”  I’ve found this true in my own life and guarantee you the same results.  The last time I met with my coach, he provided me with information and tools to help me in a matter of minutes.  That’s right, in an hour’s time, I received the fruits of his labor and experience- some of which took years to acquire.

I still remember the “This will be your best year yet!” text like it was yesterday.  The question is can this be your best year yet?  That’s up to you.  If you’re looking for help, be sure to download a copy of my latest book.  What are your thoughts?  Please feel free to comment below!

Here’s the link: B00R4UBKB2

#10- Making Sense Of Your Life Story

When it comes to life, there is one thing we all have in common.  We all have a life story.  Mine began in Saratoga Springs on June 1, 1971.  Since then, life has been nothing short of an adventure.  During that journey there's one thing I've learned.  We can all change the course of our life story.

Before I explain further, I want you to know that I'm not downplaying the tragedy or hurts you've experienced in your own life.  And I'm not going to give you a pat answer to explain why these things have happened.  But, you do have a choice when reacting to what's happened to you.

Why not decide to plot the rest of your life and finish your story in a noble way?  We've all done things in the past, that we can't change, but today is a fresh page!

In 1 Peter 4:10 we read: "Based on the gift they have received, everyone should use it to serve others, as good managers of the varied grace of God."

I've written a book that will help you rewrite your life story.  In it, you'll discover how to make your own personal story a great one.

Furthermore, in the days that come, we'll talk more about this subject.

In the meantime, you can download your own copy of the book on Amazon.com.  Be sure to buy it now while it's still inexpensive because I plan to un publish it in the near future and make it part of a larger bundle.

This is the link to buy the book.

#9- The Meaning of Waiting

You waited and waited and the letter finally arrived.  You opened it quickly and read only to find out that you would have to wait again!  Fun stuff, right?  Not really.  The truth is, few people enjoy waiting.  

A friend of mine right now has a child who is ill.  They've waited and waited for answers and they're still waiting.  Chances are they'll be waiting a long time.

In time, we realize life is a cycle of ebb and flow, abundance and scarcity, health and illness, feast and famine.  Introduce physics to the equation and everything has a tendency to want to come apart!  Plug one hole in the proverbial dyke and there are two more.  Eventually you run out of fingers and duct tape.

So what is the meaning of waiting?  Why are we always anticipating something before it happens?

It's a question many have pondered but few have answered.  Maybe the answer is waiting with meaning.  Again, the waiting game keeps repeating itself, so why fight it?  Instead, we can decide to man our stations and put our shoulders into the load.

Ponder the weather too much and you'll never plant.  Wait for the boom and it will be too late.  You want to get to where the ball is going to be, not where it's already been.

Anyone who will leverage this principle of waiting with meaning will reap aplenty.

Is your problem a financial one?  Get to work- inactivity is not going to help.  Relational?  Get out from under your covers and get out of your apartment.  Better yet, go for a run!

Something happens when we take action in a determined direction.

In fact, there's never a good time to worry.  Plan?  Yes!  Pray?  Absolutely!  But while you're praying, put on your overalls.  If you have the power to do something good, do it.

Please be sure to comment and let us know what you're waiting for and how you're passing the time while doing so.

#8- Tis’ the Season to be Blue?

It’s that time of year again.  The radio stations are playing Christmas music and the marketing world is tuning up to deliver their grand symphony for the year.  For some, this season brings great joy- others feel down.  Regardless of your station in life at this time of the year, here is a helpful lesson.

An upbeat guy that I know once made the following statement: “Whenever I feel depressed, I get off the couch and do something.  I’m dead serious!  That’s what he said.

Profound right?

I know, but it resonated with me deeply.  Reflect back on times when you were depressed and chances are they were times of very little personal activity.  This mentality is reflected when we hear sayings like: “The economy is depressed.  Or, the job market, etc.”  The idea is that not much of anything is going on.

I’m not suggesting that you get overly busy just to forget about how you really feel.  That's a recipe for work-a-holicism.  What I am suggesting is that you make a plan to move forward.

For example, maybe you’re depressed because you’ve put a major decision in your life on hold.  Or, maybe you’ve procrastinated about painting your son or daughter’s bedroom.  You know you’d like it to look better but tomorrow’s another day.  Maybe you’ve taken too long to execute a loan that will lower an interest rate.  A dream deferred makes the heart grow sick.

Taking action just might be what it takes to dislodge the log jam in your river of life.  So get out of the snowbank and get to work.  Before you know it you’ll be burning your couch.

#7- Two Way Street

Years ago, I made the mistake of going the wrong way on a One Way street.  Worse yet, a cop watched me do it!  To make matters even worse, he ticketed me and I had to pay a fine.  Why?  All because of a SMALL mistake.

It’s amazing what one small move can cost you.  Maybe it’s a little over eating or a little hard earned money with the hope of a large return or a little pornography.  In situations like these, we tell ourselves we’re only making a small investment and there is only the potential for a small loss such as a little extra weight or a little extra work or a little guilt.  With experience we learn that nothing could be further from the truth.

A little bit goes a long way!

At the same time, the principle works for good too!  A little exercise over a period of time yields higher levels of energy.  A little money invested over a period of time can yield nice returns.  And a little self control can lead to a better self image and healthier relationships.  

So what’s on your horizon right now?  Are you planting with purpose or hiding, hoping and hurting?  There was a man in the bible called Lot who decided to live in a wicked city because it was just a ‘little one’.  Years later, his family was a mess and all of them nearly lost their lives.  Why?  Because of something he considered little.  

I haven’t been ticketed for going down a One Way street in years, but that doesn’t mean I’ve been a perfect driver.  The fact is, I just haven’t been caught.  People drive, text and die everyday.  One beer and a car can be a recipe for manslaughter.

Likewise, a little bit can do a whole lot of good.  So, are you going to use self- control today and discipline or are you going to just wing it and hope.  At the end of the day, the choice is yours.  Life is a Two Way Street.  You just have to decide which direction you're going to travel in.

#6- Dress for Success (Part 2)

Last week, we talked about the importance of making outward choices that accurately reflect what is going on inside.  I confessed that my wife does most of my clothes shopping.  The good news is you can look good for free!  It has to be that way to level the playing field.

Let me explain further.  You see, inner beauty trumps outer beauty every time!  Remember the last time you apologized for being ugly with someone?  You apologized because the thoughts you were having affected your behavior.  

Try it today!  You see, what we wear is a reflection of what’s in our wardrobe.  For example, when people see us wearing an attractive shirt, it’s an indication that there is more where that came from.  Likewise, when we display attractive attitudes and actions, they rightly assume there is more where that came from.  There is a difference between a smile and a frown.  

People are experts at reading body language.  Why?  Because when they watch your body language, they intuitively know what is going on in the inside- especially if they've behaved the same way as you in the past.  One example is when people constantly avoid making eye contact with you while talking.

Finally, I’m not sad that my wife shops for my clothes these days.  However, I am glad that I’ve come to realize the importance of making sound choices when perusing my personal wardrobe.

Some simple guidelines:

1. Dress to impress.
2. Dress for success.  Dress for the job you want tomorrow, not the one you have today.
3. Dress your age.  Childish attitudes thoughts and behaviors are unattractive on an adult.

#5- Dress for Success

O.k, I confess!  Back in High School I spent a small fortune on clothes.  Not just any old clothes, but clothes from Chess King.  Confession #2: I’m married now and shop very little for myself.  Looking back, I realize dressing up was all about improving my personal image.

Looking good is about more than how you look on the outside.  You can put lipstick and mascara on the outside, but your inner self will always shine through.  Right?  We’re to let our lights shine before others so that they will glorify our Father in Heaven.

That’s why it’s so important to begin remodeling on the inside as well as fixing up the outside.  If we’re not careful to get rid of unattractive attitudes, thoughts and actions, they will pop up through the cracks like weeds through asphalt.

Today when I dress, I’m thinking about more than what I should wear.  I’m more concerned with how I’m going to treat the person I’m having breakfast with rather than what is in style.  Afterall, I don’t want to be ‘all show and no go’.  Besides, long after you’re gone, people will forget what you wore but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.

#4- RELATIONSHIPS

Years ago our family left a loved one home to cook a pork chop dinner while the rest of us went four- wheeling on a local ski mountain.  I don't exactly remember what happened, but I know that we got home a lot later than we said we would.  Our loved one had tried to keep the meal from getting too dry, but to no avail.  Years have passed, but I haven't forgotten their disappointment.  They sacrificed while we played and experienced the hurt of not meeting our needs while we were insensitive to theirs.

This memory resurfaced while recently reading Andy Stanley's book: "Choosing to Cheat: Keeping your Job from Cheating your Family".  Instead of a pork chop dinner, Andy uses another powerful illustration to make his point.  Stanley's premise is that work and family take up prominent positions in our lives and that when our lives are out of balance, it's usually our families that suffer.

It's disturbing to think that we "cheat on our families".  Sadly, however, it's true.  Why is it that we have a hard time turning down an overtime call? However, we make statements to our loved ones like: "We'll see...." knowing that we have no intention of fulfilling their requests

Nobody gets hit over the head and wakes up the next morning with perfect relationships.  In a previous post I stated that if you are looking for SOME THING to fulfill your deepest needs, you will be disappointed--especially a relationship.  The growing divorce rate proves that.  If you're unhappy and you think your fiance is going to make you happy, think again!  Chances are you'll be unhappier.  Don't go dragging kids into the mess.  Leave your engagement ring at the altar and save both your lives.

Now that we have wedding rings and the frailty of relationships in mind, lets talk about the will of God.  Does God want us to be miserable?  No, His will is that we would turn to Him and enter the deepest relationship imaginable.  But if we're honest, we "cheat" Him.

What if things were different?  What if we MINED our relationships rather than neglecting them.  We wouldn't need new wives or husbands, children, bosses....pastors.  Instead we would better appreciate the ones that we have.

I sure do wish I could go back in time and walk through the door just as the pork chops were being set on the table.  Although I can't, it's comforting to know that I'm still on my journey.  Yes, I believe by faith that I've already reached the other shore, but.... I'm still paddling.  I will experience more rough water along the way, that I'm sure of, but in the meantime I'm thankful for smooth waters, the people with me in the boat, and opportunities to make better decisions.  Not because I have to, but out of love.

#3- Can You Learn to be Happy?

Have you ever trained a puppy?  For some, this question brings back good memories.  For others, images of wet carpet spots or puddled floors appear.  But with any amount of persistence, Fido or Fifi learned to go outside.  Why?  Because he learned to.  It's that simple.

Some people are convinced they will never learn- especially if they are a bit older.  You hear them say things like: "I can't remember anything".  With a mind set like that, they are RIGHT!  You have to believe that you can or you won't.

Think back on learning to drive, or the time you learned how to search the web, or how to ride a unicycle (o.k, a unicycle is pushing it- but if you can learn to ride one of those things then Mars is the limit!).  The point is, nobody learns overnight.  Learning takes time and persistence and sometimes nothing short of fire in your belly.  In fact, a lot of the times, learning requires ONE STEP forward and TWO STEPS back.  You will have good days and.....well, you get the idea.

But believe it or not, you can learn to be happy regardless of what happens to come your way.  Difficult circumstances, health issues, or changes in finances or marital status do not have to be the end of your world.  Instead, they can be gauges to show you how well you are performing on your newest course.  This may sound harsh- I know- but it's the truth.

Life's too short to be unhappy.  And I promise you this, nothing in this world can provide you ultimate happiness- not a million dollars, or perfect health, or a stock photo marriage.  In fact, all of these things have the potential to make you UNHAPPY!

How then do we reach the heights of joy?  One move at a time.  Sometimes we fall and sometimes we stand tall.  So don't let the mindset of defeat set in- seize the day!  Give up and go up today!

#2- Are You Stuck?

Anyone who has ever skied, has had the pleasure of having the chair lift hum to a stop. There you are dangling above the trees while you should be swishing down the slopes with your friends. Which begs the question: “Have you ever been stuck?” Not just on a chair lift, but in general: relationally, work wise, financially?

I have, so I know how you’re feeling. In fact, just last winter I was stuck more than I knew. So I did what some people do. I told someone.

The person I told was kind and generous and he even offered to meet with me every month or so to help me move forward. The results have been phenomenal!!

Should you choose to get unstuck, it doesn’t have to be expensive. I’ve given gifts to the person who helps me, but it’s not always necessary. Perhaps someone in your inner circle or the circle of a friend could help you out. Perhaps they just have a lot of experience or they are actually an expert in their field. You could even get a book or DVD from the library to get you started for FREE! As someone once said: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear!”

Why not start today? In the words of pastor/teacher Andy Stanley: “A mentor will help you go further faster! So don’t wait to learn and get burned. Pick up the phone today or send the email. Who knows, one day soon you may find yourself sitting in the Lodge around a crackling fire with your friends sharing some Hot Chocolate and talking about some of the amazing developments in your life!  Walk through the door.